Anger Management

15 Oct

Over the last few days, I’ve experienced the inherent signs of road rage. A quick Google search lead me to a PDF, which must mean that this is a real affliction, because PDFs are serious business.

The symptoms, according to said PDF:

  • Mentally condemning other drivers, or entertaining thoughts of violence against other drivers: I believe threatening to drag bad drivers out of their cars and punch them in the neck at a stoplight fits the bill.
  • Verbally expressing condemnation of other drivers to passengers in your vehicle: Idiot, asinine a-hole, MOVE OVER…etc, etc.
  • Motorists violating traffic safety rules because they don’t agree with them: Do I really need to sit at an empty intersection at midnight for the five-minute red light? Uh, yes. But do I? Uh, no.
  • Engaging in aggressive and risky driving: Following too close, Speeding, Weaving in and out of traffic, Speeding up to beat a traffic lights,  Cutting between vehicles to change lanes, Using the horn excessively, Flashing headlights excessively at oncoming traffic, Passing traffic and then slowing to teach another driver a lesson: Yes, Sometimes, Sometimes, Definitely, Sometimes, Sometimes, Sometimes, Sometimes….oh my God, I’m a bad driver.

It’s just that I have a difficult time understanding why people rush to cut you off, only to drive 10-15 miles below the speed limit. I also don’t understand why driving 10-15 miles below the speed limit is necessary. If you’re that afraid to drive, THEN DON’T.

It also blows my mind that at 11:30 at night, which is when I’m on my way home, there are so many vehicles on the road. Shouldn’t you be sleeping? Every night for the past 2 weeks, I have gotten behind someone crawling home at midnight, and it’s just ridiculous! So yes, I am guilty of tailgating, screaming in frustration, and often laying on the horn, but can you blame me. Don’t answer that.

Maybe my road rage is an expression of some larger anger that I have. I’m not an angry person, but I’m far from a saint, so while I was hurtling down Route 23, passive-aggressively belittling my fellow drivers, I decided to do some deep thinking and figure out why I was so vengeful.

Here are some things that I am potentially angry about:

1. The fact that I’m using my $200,000 college degree to right-click, copy, and paste.

……

Uh, that seems to be the only thing that’s making me angry. So until I get another job, take another road.

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One Response to “Anger Management”

  1. Laura October 16, 2010 at 5:24 am #

    Bwuaha! I feel you girl! The phrase, “IS THAT REALLY FRIGGIN’ NECESSARY YOU OLD FART,” or one similar has been issued from my mouth so often the past couple of months that the one time I had my window down and screamed it where the other driver could hear, I was far less appalled by my, “It’s True ya Friggin’ LOOP!” response to their, “shut the ef. up,” than I should have been.

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