A Special Message to the man arguing with his wife. On the phone. On the Bus. At 11:30 PM.

29 Nov

Dear MAWHWOTPOTBA11:30PM,

Ok. Here’s the first thing: SHUT. UP. IT IS 11:30 PM ON A SUNDAY NIGHT AND YOU ARE TALKING REALLY LOUD AND IT’S ANNOYING. I understand this is not an entirely unacceptable hour to be talking to someone on the phone, and maybe you thought it would be a worthwhile use of your time to have this intense conversation on a bus that’s not really that crowded. But there is no excuse for talking this loud, on a bus. Ever. Don’t you see the sign above the front window, partially covered by a Christmas wreath in an attempt to make this bus apparently seem more holiday-esque? Neither do I actually, but it’s there. Please trust me on this one.

Your wife/girlfriend sounds pretty upset. I know this because I can hear her through the phone which you have turned up really loud. So maybe it would be better to have this conversation in person. I get that you don’t trust her anymore, but as long as I’m this involved, why don’t you just tell her what she did, because we both really want to know. Especially her. Just let it out. I’d rather hear that than “You don’t get it. I can’t trust you” 100 times in a row. She does get it. I get it, WE ALL GET IT. You can’t trust her. Just tell her why and MOVE ON. AND TURN OFF YOUR PHONE.

A word of advice. Sometimes, it can be really therapeutic to hang up on someone and seethe in silence. Here’s how that works: Say something like “I’m done with this now” or “I’ve had it!” and then hang up, snap the phone shut, and throw it on the seat. At this point, I’m getting close to begging you to do this, since my continuous pivots to stare you down haven’t worked. So why don’t you just stop being a disrespectful jerk face, be mature, and hang up on the woman. Then she can call you back and you can ignore her, which is another way of getting your “I’m angry with you” point across. Actions speak louder than words, even right now, when words are speaking PRETTY LOUDLY.

Thanks!

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One Response to “A Special Message to the man arguing with his wife. On the phone. On the Bus. At 11:30 PM.”

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  1. 100 Posts–This is Big. « Working Girl Smiling - August 19, 2011

    […] time I wanted to punch someone in the face. Aka my entire […]

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