Everyone: I HAVE A SUNBURN! We can move on now.

20 Jun

Apparently, I can no longer spend more than 5 minutes underneath the rays of the burning sun, because yesterday, in an attempt to eliminate my embarrassing farmer’s tan from a few weeks back, I instead burned every square inch of flesh not covered by a bathing suit to a deep red.

I look ridiculous. Aside from the overall lobster-eque coloring I’ve taken on, the back of my arms and legs are still pale, as is my neck. Because it’s approximately 9 million degrees out, I can’t really walk around in a turtle neck and jeans, which would be my only option in hiding my bizarre tan lines.

But obviously, sun burn is not some rare, never-before-seen skin disorder, and obviously, I’m fully aware of my ailment! Which is why the non-stop “OMG, look at your shoulders!” and “OMG, you’re red!” comments are not only getting annoying, but are also completely unnecessary. I was talking to a coworker this morning and I could have been reciting the Declaration of Independence, so engrossed was he in making faces over my rosy skin.

Everytime I talk to someone, they grimace in pain, unable to get over the fact that I’m the one that’s red! I seem to be eliciting sympathy pains in everyone I interact with! People’s complete bewilderment over my sunburn  makes it seem like I’m the only person in the world to ever roast in the sun a little longer than advisable. It’s summer. I am pale. I will burn.

I’m getting close to wearing a sign around my neck with the simple message: “I Know” with an arrow pointing to my face. But until then, I’m just going to continue slathering on Aloe Vera and looking into stores that carry high-necked caftans.

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One Response to “Everyone: I HAVE A SUNBURN! We can move on now.”

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  1. 100 Posts–This is Big. « Working Girl Smiling - August 19, 2011

    […] time I got sunburn and people freaked […]

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