Archive | July, 2011

I Will Not Be Lame, I Will Not Be Lame

29 Jul

The weekend is finally here! This week was really weird…on Tuesday, I thought it was Wednesday, so the next few days flew, only to come to a screeching halt on Thursday and Friday. Now, I’m ready to bust out of this Popsicle stand….but do what?!

I don’t think it’s really a secret anymore that my social life is rather, well, shall we say, the LAMEST THING EVER. When I’m living at home, I work, I go home. Fridays involve pizza and a movie…with my parents. Saturdays involve much of the same.  But now that I’m living in the city, I feel obligated to be a social as possible. I’m 23–I should be partying til the early morn every night of the week! (Because people who use expressions like “early morn” are the true ragers, right?)

But in my heart of hearts, all I really want to do is go grocery shopping, make a nice dinner, and watch When Harry Met Sally for the 10th time. I feel destined to end up in a retirement community by the time I’m 25. I’d probably fit in there better than I do at most of the bars I frequent! I still can’t get a grasp on this whole work-life-I’M 23 FREAKIN YEARS OLD balance.  Someone please help me. Take me out, feed me to the socialites!


26 Jul

Ah, interns. They’ve invaded our office, taking up free desk space, crowding the hallways with their incessant chatter, and pretending to look unbelievably busy….while surfing Facebook.

I can certainly speak from experience, as I was an intern many times over. I’ve had such a plethora of experiences at drastically opposite ends of the spectrum–at one internship I spent a week cleaning out someone’s desk, stacking all their loose change in neat little piles and cutting my finger on an errant razor blade in the bottom drawer. Six months later, I was running around Brooklyn with a camera crew covering breaking news.  I treated each task with similar gusto because the bottom line was “Who am I going to please?” and “Will it be enough to land me a job?”

These interns don’t seem to have those same priorities. The intern who sits in the cube next to me spends half the day flirting, and the other half watching Dora the Explorer clips on Youtube for a reason I have yet to comprehend. Plus, the awkwardness….oooo the awkwardness. Perhaps my vision has clouded since I last interned, but I don’t recall sending out department emails signed off with “Cheerio chaps!” (in fact, I was too terrified to send out any department emails…) and I KNOW I never willingly chose to sit by the printer just so I could “meet more people.” I’ve even considered moving my computer so I’ll be less surprised when one of them creeps up on me and asks if I need help.

I made the mistake of asking for help once, and something that probably would’ve taken me the better part of an hour had suddenly morphed into a 2-day task for the intern I handed it off to. Then she gave it back to me, unfinished, and said she “just didn’t have time.” Are you kidding me? That’s all you have lady!

Of course, I look back on my own internship experiences and see myself with a halo glowing around my head. Just a little over a year later, I’m a professional lady, heading off on business trips and schmoozing with the bosses. I have no recollection of being as awkwardly bumbling as this group is. And thankfully, neither did the person that hired me here, since I’m now working where I once interned. These kids have a lot to learn…but first, they better get me a coffee!

It Is Hot.

22 Jul

These past few days have been really intense. Aside from slogging away at work for seven days straight, (recall my weekend adventures) the heat has completely zapped me.

Everyday, I’ve been in and out of a dazed state,  jolted only by plugging into my central IV of iced coffee. Thank God there aren’t too many people in the office this week, because my seemingly permanent slack-jawed, glassy-eyed expression really invites conversation….

Fortunately, my office has air conditioning, but my new apartment does not, so I spend my nights with an enormous box fan literally inches from my face. Since I usually shower and go to bed with my head wet, my hair is so wind-blown and tangled in the mornings, I’ve taken to pulling it back into a snarled, damaged poof. Just visualize how attractive that is. Got it? Now multiply that unattractiveness by 10.

The combination of sleep deprivation, unconditioned hair, and a diet of iced coffee and cereal means it’s time to head to New Jersey for the weekend and enjoy the comforts of (a well-cooled) home. I’m already dreading the commute though….some things never change. And while my mom is overjoyed at seeing me after just a week and a half away, I’m really planning on just finding the closest body of water and submerging myself up to my nose for the entire weekend. Priorities people, priorities.

Sunday, Funday….Workday? (Part 2)

20 Jul

There are only so many times you can hear “Hotel California” in a single car ride before it starts to grate on the nerves. Between Boston and Hampton Beach, New Hampshire, I literally heard snippets of it at least a dozen times. It’s an OK song, but seriously? Of all the songs in the world available for a summer radio play list, that’s the one on rotation? Needless to say, I was more than eager to get there.

Surprisingly, I was making good time, and thought maybe, just maybe, I might actually be on time to something! But alas, I was not. Because alas….I once again got lost.

Now, lost is perhaps not the best phrase for what happened. I was following the directions, I was on all the right roads, I just couldn’t seem to find the particular street I was looking for. So I crawled all the way through traffic on one side of the road, and thinking this particular road had ended, turned around and crawled all the way back. And then I turned around and did that two more times before finally pulling over at a gas station and asking where the hell this town was! Well it turns out I was cutting this road short by about 500 feet, and sure enough, I found the turn off and was pulling into the parking lot a half hour late.



Ahem, anyway, the rest of the day went really well, the weather was beautiful, and I got a taste of my future in the biz. (That’s what people “in the biz” say, right?) But typically, entry-level imps like me don’t get to run a shoot on their own, and I was loving it! Too bad it lasted a measly hour, just long enough to get a few breaths of fresh air before packing in the car and going back from whence I came!

Obviously, the trip back was a breeze, since at this point, I had pretty much surveyed every square mile of road between New Hampshire and Boston. And thankfully, the airport was heavily signed, so I was able to get an earlier flight! I was back roasting in my apartment by 8 pm, relishing in my new “professional journalist” role. Did New Hampshire give me a big head?? No, no, definitely not…..

Read Part 1 here.

Sunday, Funday….Workday? (Part 1)

18 Jul

Not that long ago, there was a time when I worked every single weekend of every single month, for almost a year straight. It was horrible. Now that I have weekends off, I’ve come to embrace the luxury of seemingly endless free time. But yesterday, I did have to work, and it was really great, mostly because I was on yet another business trip!

This time I headed up to New Hampshire for an interview that I got to do on my own! I was totally excited for several reasons:

1. Getting free things: a flight to Boston and a rental car

2. Getting to pretend I was Diane Sawyer: my idol and the reason behind 99% of my career choices

The trip started out smoothly enough–I was relieved to find a normal car had come to pick me up after mis-hearing him say “Your limo is waiting outside.” Despite my daydreams about being a famous person, I am not actually a famous person and don’t think my boss would have been to pleased about that particular expense!  But I arrived at the airport early, the flight left on time,  they served snacks, I had coffee and we touched down shortly after. Then it was off to the rental car place.

Because there was a line and I was essentially paranoid the entire day about being late, I did an automatic check in. And because I am stupid, I did not get a GPS. Being the directionally challenged lady that I am, I drove approximately 500 feet before realizing I was heading in the wrong direction. Do you understand how directionally challenged you have to be to get out of an airport parking lot?? But I did a U-turn, and then another U-turn, and then I idled at the stop light, looked over my written directions and managed to finally make the correct turn to head on my merry way.

Now, as a driver from New Jersey, I am used to being told miles in advance about an upcoming exit. I am used to seeing enormous detour signs every five feet until the detour. I am used to highway lanes. I am used to being fully aware of what highway/route/direction I’m going because of clearly labeled markers. People in Massachusetts don’t really seem to follow this creed. There was an area called a rotary, which is a large circle with various turnoffs on either side. There were  literally no lanes, cars swerving and veering every which way, and pedestrian crossings at the sharpest curves. I saw the sign for the turnoff for US1 once, and it was about the size of a postage stamp. It was ridiculous.

But amazingly, I made it to I95 in one piece, and started cruising with the music blasting.  I was really just loving life, loving my job, loving the fact that I made it to I95 without having to call my dad. I was even enjoying the radio station I was listening to, which is rarer than the rarest rarity. I was singing along to “Hotel California” people! It was great.

And then I got to New Hampshire.

The End of an Era….At Least for Now

13 Jul

FINALLY. FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY FINALYYYYYYYY. Big news! For the next month, I’ll be subletting an apartment in Brooklyn, officially (albeit temporarily) ending my 13 month period of total bat-shit craziness!


As pretty much everyone with a set of eardrums knows, I’ve been living at home and commuting an excruciating two and a half hours each way for the last thirteen months. I had been resigned to this fate until I was officially working full-time, but because miracles and ends of ropes do exist, a friend of a friend was looking for someone to sublet his apartment for a month, and I jumped on it!

I cannot even begin to describe how much I am looking forward to this coming month. My commute will be hacked down to a meager half hour, the apartment is ten minutes away from my friend, and MY COMMUTE WILL BE A HALF HOUR!! This will leave me so much more time to waste noodling away on hulu….joking! I definitely want to take full advantage of the next month, as well as use it as a test for how it would be to live in the city while working. Can I possibly stick to a budget? Will I have any more of a life than I do now? In the words of a rather blunt friend: “You have a life, just not a social one.” It can only get better from there!

So for the next month, this blog will be devoid of what keeps it ticking–bitch fests about New Jersey Transit, my car, and the unnatural amount of time I spend with both. Whatever shall I write about?!?! Perhaps my longing to be reunited with my most prized possession? Uh, no. Well, only time will tell!

The Year That Was

11 Jul

July 1st has since come and gone, without me fully recognizing or acknowledging the immense and psychologically traumatizing moment that happened a year ago–I bought my car!

And what a year it’s been–before the engine was warm, I was saddled with hundreds of dollars worth of repairs, which would only multiply exponentially as the months dragged on. Literally every single month has had me writing checks, banging my head against a window (when it’s actually there) and cursing God for gifting me with poor decision making skills.

So in celebration of this joyous occasion (cough cough), I made a time line of the year that was–dysfunctional vehicle edition. The fabulous illustration was done by my amazingly talented sister, and you can see more of her work here. To see the full size time line, click here