Dear God, Please Make it Sunny Again

28 Sep

Dear God,

Here’s the deal. I’m really, really, REALLY sick of this weather. My hair is sick of this weather. My summer/fall wardrobe is sick of this weather. It’s time for you to let the sun shine, and for the beautiful fall weather I adore so much to arrive. Last time I checked, I lived in Jersey, not the jungle.

I know I tend to ask you for a lot of silly things (like the time I begged you to make someone steal my car so I could collect the insurance money, or my daily prayers for a commute that’s less than two hours) but this is no joke. I am tired of the gray weather, the constant rain, and the disgusting humidity. Please God, make the sky turn that beautiful crisp blue and the thermometer drop below 65 degrees so I can wear my new tweed blazer. I look really good in that blazer.

Here’s the thing, God. People act really dumb when it’s raining, dumber than they usually do, if you can imagine that! (Of course you can…you’re God.) A rainy day means that people drive slower, make right hand turns slower, shift lanes slower…frankly it’s driving me insane. And then, when I finally get to the city, people are doubly preoccupied with the difficult task of holding an umbrella and walking at the same time! I hate to admit this, but more than once I have contemplated poking someone with the tip of my umbrella, which is rather sharp. Fine…I’ll admit I think about this a lot. Like, a lot a lot.

So God, please. Give me fall. Give me sun. Give me one day without frizzy, unmanageable hair.

Love always,

Me

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