Archive | November, 2012

Snack Stealers

30 Nov

mug shotOne of the wonderful things about working at this job is free snacks. In our old building, there was a snack closet regularly fortified with granola bars, trail mix, chips, and this one very exciting time, Peanut M&M’s. This closet used to be situated right outside someone’s desk, so while it was lovely to get a free snack, I always thought this person probably thought everyone that worked there was a big giant pig, since typically in the span of a week, forty-five people would manage to demolish an entire case of granola bars and a pallet of pretzels.

But now that we’re in our new office, the snack closet has been moved into the kitchen. This has eliminated the sting of judgement from coworkers after you reach for that third bag of gummy snacks in an hour, but it has also created the problem of people stealing our loot! Sure, our floor may be full of snackers, but the rest of the building has caught on to our treasure trove of treats and have allegedly been frequenting the kitchen and taking entire boxes of Nutri-Grain bars and pints of milk from the fridge! But beware, little thieves: WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE!

…Actually we don’t, which is why in the past two weeks, cabinet locks have been installed, a sign posted, and most guilt-inducing, a security camera. Isn’t corporate America fun?? The snatchers may be gone, but the judgement is back: now the security guards will know what I have for dinner at least three times a week…veggie chips and cashews make a surprisingly filling meal!


26 Nov

So I’m back at work after a week home in New Jersey. After the month I’ve had, what better place to wind down than home, in New Jersey, with my parents.  Yay! When I told my friend my plans, she looked at me funny and then asked if that was the most relaxing idea I had. But six back-to-back yoga classes in preparation later, I felt as ready as I could be!

It’s not that I don’t like being home, and of course I love my family, but the second I touch down on Jersey soil, I seem to revert back to my seventeen-year-old self in the eyes of my family members! If my family was large enough for a kids table, I’d be sitting at the head! My grandma gave me bubbles for a Thanksgiving gift! Instead of wine, my ten-year-old cousin and I sipped identical glasses of apple juice. No one seems able to soak up the fact that I’m an adult who likes red wine!

Of course, my attempts to play up my independent life in the city only lead to my grandma grilling me on why I’m not home more often. “It’s so good to see you!” quickly transitioned to “It’s been so long since we’ve seen you!” which then ended in “What is it that you do that you can’t be home more often?” Ah, family. Doesn’t it sound relaxing???

But when all was said and done, it really was a lovely and much-needed week of fresh air, sleep and home-cooked meals. I also rediscovered my high-school love of Dashboard Confessional and wearing Ugg boots in public. I wonder where my family gets this idea that I haven’t grown up….

Snip Snip

20 Nov

I’ve always had a rather complicated relationship with my hair, as has been documented many times over in this blog and elsewhere. In the entirety of my life, between the many haircuts I’ve had, products I’ve tested, headbands and fancy hair clips and baseball hats I’ve donned, I’ve rarely looked at my hair and said “Wow, that’s nice.” Lately, I’ve been on a bit of an upswing, because I discovered the joys of a hairdryer, and seem to have finally figured out the virtues of a round brush! But as always, said virtues only last so long, until there’s that horrible week when you realize the inevitable has arrived: you need a haircut.

There are few things in life I both abhor and look forward to with the same fervor as getting my haircut. On the one hand, I usually wait so long to get it done that my hair has worked itself into a frizzy, flat mess I can’t wait to chop off. On the other, there is the 100% certainty I will look at myself after and feel an overwhelming sense of regret. And this is because I can never just get my hair trimmed. I always feel like I need to get my money’s worth, so instead ask for “a new look.” And there is a 100% certainty this “new look” will look hideous and I will cry.

So yesterday, I mustered up every ounce of self-control I could find, stared myself down in the mirror and repeated my mantra over and over: No bangs. No bangs. DO NOT GET BANGS. So when the hairdresser sat me down and asked what I wanted done, and the first thing out of my mouth was “I think I want to try some blunt bangs,” I knew I was in for trouble. But as she came closer, the gleaming tips of her scissors poised right above my eyebrows, a shred of sense crept back into my brain. “Wait!” I said, mild hysteria lodged in the back of my throat. “No. Bangs.” I forced out. “I don’t want bangs! They will not look the way I am envisioning them in my head! STAY STRONG AND BACK AWAY WITH THE SCISSORS.”

Well obviously the hairdresser was a bit flummoxed and did in fact back away. Then we worked through it and I now have a sassy little cut that has yet to move me to despair! Yes, it’s a little shorter than I may have wanted, but it’s flipping out just so and looks quite lovely! Could this be a first?!?! …Check in with me tomorrow.

Working 12 Hours a Day for a Month Has Turned Me Into a Raging B

16 Nov

Wow, I am in a bad mood today! I feel like the frustration and stress that’s been simmering under my usually cheerful veneer has decided to expose itself today, approximately three hours before I head off on a week of vacation. Just this morning, I rolled my eyes twenty-two times, said “Are you kidding me?!” six times, got up from my desk in a huff twice, and felt the hot sting of boiling anger and tears once. It’s been pretty intense.

Ah, I was so close to getting through this week without combusting! I think it’s the combination of little sleep and a lot of work that is pushing me closer and closer to the edge. For a solid month, work has been back to its frenetic, breakneck pace, which on the one hand, I like! I’m much more productive with a full plate and it’s much more satisfying to slash away at a to-do list that has more important tasks on it than “Call Groupon for a refund on a painting class package I bought on a whim before realizing I am a horrible artist.”

But on the other hand, I’ve had no time outside of work to do anything but stress about what I’ll be doing the next day and how much sleep I can get in between. It’s been wearing a little thin. My apartment is a mess, my desk is a mess, my hair is a mess…thank God the weekend is near! This week has been crazy and never-ending, and I’m so close to heading out of the city–anything that’s getting in my path is going to get slapped!

Not Again!!

7 Nov

It is ridiculous how inappropriately  dressed  I am for this weather today. Obviously this is not new for me, as I find it close to impossible to wrap my brain around the technology of and and am apparently unable to rotate my neck far enough to look out a window.  I knew snow was coming, I knew it was probably going to rain, and yet I decided to forgo pants for a dress, ski socks for tights, boots for heels, and a blazer for a winter coat. O yea, I also did not bring an umbrella! Excellent pre-planning, as usual.

My inability to pick out a weather appropriate outfit is directly related to my frazzled last-minute clothing choices. This is just one of the many casualties of my disastrous morning routine. And in all honestly, I  can’t even say I’ve been trying that hard to change! This morning for example, I overslept by 45 minutes, got dressed, did my hair and makeup, and then got dressed again because I didn’t like my outfit. Then I gathered my keys, phone and blackberry from their various hidden locations around my apartment, tossed a container of yogurt and an open bag of mini carrots into my purse, and opened my front door. I then decided I wasn’t into this second outfit, so I got dressed again! Three opportunities to put on socks! Three opportunities to wear a sweater! Three opportunities WASTED!

I’ve tried in the past to streamline my mornings, but nothing seems to stick. A few days with an organized purse here, a week of premade lunches there, each enthusiastic attempt eventually rebuffed by an eternal inability to realize how much easier my life would be if I just ripped up some lettuce into a Tupperware and picked out a pair of pants before I went to bed.

Sheesh…who knows what it will take. All I know is that I’m not looking forward to heading home tonight…and neither are my open-toe-sandeled feet!

A Sleepless Night

5 Nov

Well I’ve officially come to the conclusion that my neighbor is a drug addict. For the most part, I try not to make rash generalizations about people, but how else can I explain this guy? About once or twice a month, he will go on an hours-long rant through the night, filled with nonsensical ramblings peppered with obscenities. How a single person has enough anger and stamina built up to literally shout at the top of their lungs for six solid hours is a feat that can only be accomplished with the aid of some illegal substance! Either that or he’s possessed by a devil determined to ruin the Sunday evenings of a respectable apartment building in Upper Manhattan!

Unlike him, I have to get up in the morning, so pretty much the minute he started, I started banging on the wall that connects our apartments. If this had been the first time this had happened, maybe I would have exercised a little more haste, but I’ve been living here for a year and have been around the block with this whack job! Regardless, not my best plan. This only sent him further into rage, which started snowballing into slamming doors, him banging on the wall, and me leaping out of bed to dead-bolt my door. Crawling back under the covers, I popped in my headphones to drown out the noise, but four hours later, he was still in full psychopath mode, and I had gone through my entire “Please God, Let Me Sleep” playlist three times over!

Let me just explain how much I did not feel like dealing with this last night. I’ve been working like crazy the last few weeks and am tired enough as it is. Then yesterday, I spent the entire afternoon volunteering, using my minimal arm strength to heave branches and bags of leaves into the back of a truck. So what I was really looking forward to was a night of lethargy, not lunacy! And my night extended into the rest of my morning–after storming out of my apartment on my way to work, I yanked the front door open and the knob came off in my hand! Happy one year anniversary!