Tag Archives: boredom

A Schedule of Sloth

19 Jul

My productivity level has officially hit a brick wall. After last week’s busy yet rewarding work week, I knew I’d have some down time, which I was both looking forward to and dreading! As much as I try to anticipate it, I’m still struck by how quickly I fall back into the pattern of lackadaisical laziness! Time and time again, the week works itself out like clockwork:

Friday afternoon: After a race to the finish, I finish up early and pat myself and my coworkers on the back, before busting out of work early and heading to the happy hour/social activity/…far more likely, the comfort of my bed.

Friday night: I make it to 9:30 PM, then fall asleep to the steady lull of my own lameness and the ending credits of Grey’s Anatomy. 

Saturday-Sunday: I catch up on sleep, talk about how tired I am, brag about my busy work week, and am all together a very pleasant person to be around, obviously.

Monday morning: I come in charged and refreshed, only to get distracted by People magazine, before getting my third cup of coffee, before moving onto my New York Times queue, before giving myself a pass because it’s Monday and I was busy last week and then leaving at 5:30.

Tuesday-Friday: See Monday morning. 

I don’t know what gets into me, but unless I am working like crazy, I barely do any work at all! All of the motivation that fuels my busiest weeks must get stored someplace far away from my brain. My intentions are to keep myself busy–there are always things to organize, stories to pitch, memoirs to write, right?! But instead, I find myself day after day shopping for summer dresses, daydreaming about my vacation, and researching adult ballet classes (still looking for that hobby…).

Ugh, I need to get in the game! Snap out of it, me! Find that ambition, reignite that spark! O…it’s 5:30, you say? Well in that case, I guess it’s time to call it a day!

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An Idle Mind is the Devil’s Playground

15 Mar

This has been a slow week at work, and I am going seriously stir-crazy. Despite the fact that I’ve worked here for over a year, it still catches me off guard how quickly and dramatically my schedule can change! Fortunately, spring has hit the Big Apple, so I’ve managed to bag some rays during my lunch hour and catch up on my New York Times article queue, two of my favorite hobbies! Although I’m surprised my paleness hasn’t blinded me from reading at all!

Needless to say, this week has given me a lot of time to think, which is frankly not the best use of my time when my mind is idle. Unnecessary questions keep sprouting up–Why aren’t I busier? What did I do wrong? Am I going to get fired? Despite the fact that these are all (hopefully) irrational thoughts, a quiet week is an invitation back to the land of self-doubt. You’d think I’d be past that stage at this point, but apparently I can only confidently function when I’m working sixty hours a week at a breakneck pace!

Because of the absence of more pressing details peppering my day, I’ve been unable to curb my growing list of obsessions, which include, in no particular order: finding the perfect end table for my apartment, finding the perfect floor lamp to sit next to the perfect end table in my apartment, France, hair straighteners, DIY wall art, self-publishing, the upcoming HBO show Girls, my next vacation, the purse selection at Forever 21, the entire travel section of the Times, neon accessories, typography, and the Dear Prudence column on Slate.

Memo to my boss: Please assign me to something before I become the lamest person ever!

Reinvention

25 Apr

Man, this day is LOOOOONNNNNNGGGGG. It’s only 2:30 in the afternoon and I’m already set to pack up and go home for the day. Plus, it’s only Monday.

I’ve written before about what happens when I get bored…I get insecure and paranoid, and my mind wanders across the Atlantic and into daydreams about living in Europe. But I’ve been so uninspired lately, I haven’t even put in effort to thinking any of those things, and I’m only drafting this blog post because it’s been an entire week and I feel obligated. I need to be perked up, I need to be enthused! I need an original thought to occur, or something mind-bogglingly interesting to happen.

You think I’d be happy with some mediocrity once in a while–after months of drama and anxiety, I’m finally in a place where I feel somewhat comfortable and at ease. But the bottom line is that I don’t handle relaxation very well. Tension, deadlines and pressure keep me moving forward, and the absence of those things turns me into a blob of boring boredomness.

I need to start thinking of my life outside of work. I’ve been so focused on my career and getting it worked out that I’ve abandoned practically everything else outside of it. I can’t even remember what my interests were before I started working, and now the only things I do outside of work are wash my hair and microwave my dinner.

Ugh, life in the real world is hard! I spent four years crafting a college identity, only to be faced with the task of figuring out how I fit in the post-college world! And someday (God-willing) I’ll get married and have kids and I’ll have to figure out how I fit in there! And all the times in between major life events…where to even begin! Will there be a time where I’m not in constant reinvention mode, when I’m embracing a mellow week as a treat and not a cause for total life reflection?