Tag Archives: ending insanity

A Renewal Reception

12 Jul

Vintage-New-YearSo amazingly, it’s been about a year and a half since I moved into my apartment in the city, and for the most part, it’s been great! Aside from a few blips on the radar–the drug addict neighbor next door, my alcoholic neighbor downstairs, and the general vibe that I’m living in a half-way house/an AA meeting site– there are a lot of things I love about my apartment and the surrounding neighborhood. Of course, number one is still the proximity to the subway, followed in close second by my non-working fireplace and crown moldings. Aesthetics are important to me!

My lease was running out at the beginning of the month, so a few weeks ago I sent my landlord an email asking him about the possibility of renewing. I’ve heard horror stories of rents being raised through the roof and was dreading the possibility that I’d be hunting for another apartment. I finally finished decorating this place…I was loathe to think about packing up all my throw pillows and decorative pottery for a new one! So when my landlord got back to me and asked me to call him later that night, I spent the rest of the day coming up with a list of reasons why he shouldn’t be asking for more rent. Two reasons, “Everyone that lives here is an alcoholic and nobody ever takes the trash out!” may have been near the top….

But not even 30 seconds into our conversation, my landlord said he’d be happy to have me renew and would only be raising the rent a mere $25! I was so relieved that it wasn’t $500, I said yes immediately and was off the phone in less than five minutes! So another year in the city it is! To celebrate, I think I’ll pour myself a drink! I’m fitting in here after all!


A New Year’s Fall

4 Feb


It’s been a really long and really busy few weeks! For the past month, every day has been a mad scramble to get everything done, balance six things at once, and avoid a stress breakdown in the last stall of the women’s bathroom.  For the most part, I accomplished two out of three…not bad odds, but not too good for my makeup regimen!

The long hours and busy days meant I was pretty much doing nothing with my life outside of the office, which was of course the one thing I wanted to avoid in the new year! January was a bit of a bust, but I’m determined to turn it around and get myself together! It’s going to take a few days to get back on track though, since working 14 hours a day instills a lot of bad habits and normal-life forgetfulness.  For example, I have come to believe it’s normal to drink ten cups of coffee a day and have three square meals of Nature Valley Granola bars with a side of Sunchips! I have forgotten how satisfying it is to leave myself enough time in the morning to blow-dry my hair into the semblance of an actual style! I am re-learning the art of actually having verbal conversations with people outside of frenzied text messages and one-line emails! O, how far I fall!

Needless to say, I’m looking forward to this week as a type of mega-catch up on life until the next wave of work-craziness comes rumbling in. I’m also looking forward to normal sleep. And lettuce. I need to figure out a better way to balance work…but in the meantime I’m just going to talk advantage of the calm and grab a coffee! …Some habits die harder than others!

Goodbye 2012!

28 Dec

vintage_new_yearAh, the end is near! Just a few more hours of work, a few more days of skiing, a few more resolutions to accomplish before this year is OVER! 2012 was momentous year! …Well, sort of…A thrilling twelve months!…Eh, not really…An exhilarating display of excitement! …Um, not exactly….OK. 2012 was a pretty average year. Nothing really exciting happened, but nothing too earth-shattering either. It was just a year of settling into day-to-day average life–a steady job, a steady living situation, a steady brain–I finally turned down the dial on the crazy-meter and became a normal person again! Wahoo!

There’s nothing wrong with being normal, and it’s nice to finally feel like my ducks are in a row. Everyone seems to have noticed the wave of sanity and clear-headedness that’s taken over since my move to the city, and I feel so much happier and more confident than I did just a year before! However, it’s in my nature to want things to be happening all the time! Especially now that some of the larger obstacles in life have been left in the dust, I feel like it’s time to mix things up. But where to start? Yes. HOBBIES!

My attempts at hobbies this year led to a failed attempt at joining a show choir, a cello gathering dust in my closet,  and many hours spent contemplating joining a co-ed soccer team before reminding myself how bad I am at sports. But I was still getting into the groove of working and city life, and trying to figure out what I liked to do after my old hobbies of crying, complaining about commuting, and crying some more proved to be unnecessary. Now that that’s behind me, I’m ready to wipe that slate clean and start participating in things that will make me cool. Already, I’ve joined a book club, have an audition for an a cappella group, signed up for a monthly craft night, and scheduled a cello lesson. O…none of these things are cool? Well, at least 2013 will be filled with un-cool hobbies, instead of no hobbies at all! I am pumped! Happy New Year everyone!

Mirror, Mirror

7 Dec

vintage-photo-of-woman-applying-makeup-240bes102710I have officially changed lives! Ah, such modesty…but the dinner I attended the other night was great! I was a little apprehensive both to give advice and sit at the table I was assigned to–a few reporters from the New York Times and a 60 Minutes producer were within arms reach! Fortunately I resisted fawning too shamelessly, and as much as I wanted to, did not ask the New York Times reporters how it felt to even walk into that building everyday and breathe air filled with excellent journalism! So all in all, I kept myself under control!

That’s the thing though: here I was, admiring my colleagues and fantasizing about what it would be like to have their careers, when all around me were students thinking the same thing about me! It was pretty illuminating on a personal level to see myself in these students, and then to recognize how much I’ve grown and the confidence I’ve gained since graduating. It was such a relief to know that I would never again feel so lost and terrified by the unknown. Of course, not every student was as over-dramatic as me, but the general consensus of really really wanting to be successful and not really knowing how/if/when it would be happening was something I could certainly relate to!

So all-in-all, it was a really cool night. Of course, not everything could go so smoothly, and I ended up choking on a forkful of Basmati rice right in the middle of reassuring a student that jobs do exist and she wouldn’t have to work at a Forever 21 for the rest of her life. It got pretty emotional–she thought I was crying, I thought I was dying…you know, just the usual dinnertime conundrum. But with a sharp rap on the back from her and some career advice from me, things ended pretty well and we formed an unbreakable bond! Whatever it takes to make a difference, right?!

A Year Has Passed

1 Oct

This is a rather momentous day for me, in that it’s my official one-year anniversary at my job! Yes, this time last year, I finally rid myself of the loathed “freelance” title and somehow managed to secure a spot as a full-time staffer. Gone were the angst-filled car rides and anxiety-laden conversations about “Where is my life going?” Actually…I still have that conversation everyday. Well, at least I can see a certified shrink about it with my company health benefits!

When I think about the sheer level of emotions I had before I got this job, it’s amazing I was able to get through the day without melting into a pile of neuroses and tears! The uncertainty of whether I would have a job or have to look for another one left me in a constant state of distress! Every decision I made seemed monumental, and led to many sleepless nights. By the middle of September, I was convinced I would never get rid of my eye bags or my throbbing ulcer!

But in the year that I’ve been working here full-time, it’s amazing to see the warm wave of stability that has washed over my life! Sure, I’m still filled with thoughts….so many thoughts. Life thoughts, work thoughts, hair thoughts, lunch thoughts…this brain refuses to quit! But without the weight of my over-dramatic world resting on my shoulders, life has gotten easier and I’m so much more carefree! I should celebrate by hugging my boss and getting a cupcake! …Maybe I’ll just stick with that last part if I’m invested in staying here until year two!

The End of the Road

10 Apr

I took the bus home this weekend, and after my dad picked me up, we headed home. Pulling into the driveway, there were two things I remarked on: 1. That all the flowers were blooming and 2. That the two-ton scab that had sat outside my parents’ house for fifteen months–the broken-down, money-sucking hub of misery, Public Enemy #1 in my angst-filled, post-collegiate life–was gone, a shiny oil-slick from the leaking engine the only trace left that it had ever been there at all. That’s right, ladies and gentlemen: MY CAR IS GONE!

Despite my wishes it be pushed off the edge of a cliff, my parents took the more traditional route and put the car on Craigslist. Shockingly, someone actually bought it! I thought I was the only idiot that would fall for such a lemon, but apparently there is someone else either equally as desperate for a car, or equally as blinded by the irrationality of a recent graduate thrown into hell like I was. Ah, such good times.

That car was the last artifact of my rather rocky life before I moved into the city, and frankly, I will not mourn its loss in the slightest. However, if I must give it a memorial, I’ll resurrect the timeline from my first year of car ownership. But since it only goes through June, and I drove the car until November,  this timeline omits two new tires, a leaking oil pan, a shattered tail light, thirty parking tickets, a broken windshield wiper, and other various broken car parts that I don’t know the technical names for. Car, I will NOT miss you.

See the timeline here.

Finish Line

21 Feb

The great poet Ice Cube summed up my week last week pretty nicely: “Life ain’t a track meet, it’s a marathon…” And while I didn’t burn as many (if any at all) calories working as I would have if I had run a marathon, it was certainly a bit of a slog! I think I was getting less than 5 hours of sleep a night towards the end of it, I had the same humus wrap for dinner for five nights straight, and my mental playback of Whitney songs made me a human karaoke machine! Give me the first note and I was wailing away, much to the chagrin of the producer I was working with….

But when Friday night rolled around, the euphoria of finishing such a huge show in such a limited amount of time cast a nice wave of relief over everyone. We sat around eating pizza and swapping stories until we were goodnighted, but even then people were hesitant to leave. What were we supposed to do now?! Obviously, I immediately hit the town and partied it up like the hip and crazy night owl I am…..that is a lie. I actually went home and immediately hit my bed and fell asleep. It may or may not have been 9:30 at this point. I have no shame!

Now is the brief but enjoyable time when people are hiding in their cubes, praying for world peace and no more deaths, at least for the next week or so. And since our show did so well, they brought in free breakfast this morning! This is something I could live with: work 60 hours a week for a semi-3-day weekend and a free bagel on Tuesday morning! I’m sure by tomorrow I’ll be ready to jump back into it–give me more than 6 hours of free time and I’m ready to suit up for another crazy run.