Tag Archives: excessive coffee drinking

Adult Sippy Cup

24 May

It has become abundantly clear to me that I seemed to have missed the early childhood development skill of drinking out of a cup without spilling it all over myself. While I think I’m “on track” otherwise, when it comes to drinking or carrying anything in liquid form, without fail, I spill.

In the past, I could blame this (like every other downfall in my life) to my morning commute. Unable to handle steering a moving vehicle, changing the radio, screaming at other commuters, and drinking coffee at the same time, I pulled into the park-and-ride many times with a pungent perfume of stale coffee and crippling angst. But while many of my life problems were solved when I moved into the city, my inability to drink things is something I can’t seem to kick!

I thought this problem would subside once I switched to iced coffee, which you drink with a straw. How hard could it possibly be to sip from a straw? In my case, apparently very. Yesterday, my straw had a slit in it, so a single sip ended up straight in my lap. Then this morning, as I was attempting to wrangle my umbrella, re-adjust my purse, and prepare my morning java, my purse slid off my shoulder, whacking my filled cup of coffee straight onto my feet. How pleasant it was to squish my way through the office….at least my feet were fully caffeinated!

Frankly, I’m not really sure what to do. Do they make adult sippy cups? Would people think it was weird if I wore a full-body bib to work? Maybe I should re-think my assertion that I’m a glorious multi-tasker, when I can’t even handle the toddler-learned skill of lifting a cup to my lips!


Vanilla Latte with a Drizzle of Peer Pressure Please!

15 Feb

This is shaping up to be another busy week! We are working on a tribute special for the late, great Whitney Houston, so I’ve spent the last few days lip syncing to “I will Always Love You” and “I Wanna Dance with Somebody” while doing my work. I’ve worked out some pretty sophisticated   choreography,  in case anyone is interested…

Weeks like this are pretty stressful, because everything is sort of hanging in the balance until the last possible moment. No one really goes outside or leaves the office at all during the day, in case something important happens! The one acceptable location to take a five-minute breather is the Starbucks across the street, which goes against every grain of my frugal fiber. But when everyone is heading over there, and it’s an opportunity for a little chit-chat and office gossip, what can I say! I get lured in by the tantalizing taste of peer pressure and end up dropping four bucks on a thimble of cappuccino!

I’ve been able to resist the 3 times so far today that someone has asked me if I want to get a coffee…my wallet is thanking me but my social status isn’t! Plus, it’s only Wednesday! And with the next two days looking like they will be clocking in at the double digits, the probability that I will be dropping some serious coin on caffeine is pretty probable! O well, the overtime pay I’m making will at least make a dent in my growing coffee bean debt!

TGTC–Thank God There’s Coffee

12 Jan

I have been perpetually tired lately. I don’t know if it’s the weather, or the fact that work has slowed down a bit and I’m not as engaged, but I am just dragging when I get in in the mornings! (And in the afternoons….and when I leave at night.) It’s been even tougher the past week because our coffee machine has been broken.

We have one of those lovely single serving coffee machines in the office, and I have taken a particular liking to the French Vanilla flavor. In my defense, it doesn’t really make a full cup, so guzzling down three or four of those puppies in a given morning isn’t that crazy. But for the past two weeks, my coffee consumption has plummeted to just a cup a day, because I have to secretly smuggle coffee from the other machines in different departments, and I get a little self-conscious about it. I mean, it’s free, but still. I’m weird.

I also refuse to buy coffee, specifically Starbucks coffee. Why is it so expensive? I just don’t get that at all. My boss gave all of us gift cards there and I spent mine in just two trips! The coffee is good, but it isn’t that good. Anyway, the bottom line is that I have been jonesing for some coffee for the past two weeks, and yesterday, just when I thought I was going to crack and blow a week’s salary on a half-caf-mocha-latte-grande-frappacino-cappuchino thingy,  a new machine arrived and they restocked all the coffees!

It’s been a rather glorious day, and I’ve basically been drinking coffee throughout all of it. Two cups when I got in, a cup after lunch, one at 5 pm…maybe I can squeeze in one more roast before the end of the day! I have to make up for lost time! Although when I’m staring at the ceiling at 3 am, I’ll have no one to blame but myself. At least I can re-fuel come morning!

It Is Hot.

22 Jul

These past few days have been really intense. Aside from slogging away at work for seven days straight, (recall my weekend adventures) the heat has completely zapped me.

Everyday, I’ve been in and out of a dazed state,  jolted only by plugging into my central IV of iced coffee. Thank God there aren’t too many people in the office this week, because my seemingly permanent slack-jawed, glassy-eyed expression really invites conversation….

Fortunately, my office has air conditioning, but my new apartment does not, so I spend my nights with an enormous box fan literally inches from my face. Since I usually shower and go to bed with my head wet, my hair is so wind-blown and tangled in the mornings, I’ve taken to pulling it back into a snarled, damaged poof. Just visualize how attractive that is. Got it? Now multiply that unattractiveness by 10.

The combination of sleep deprivation, unconditioned hair, and a diet of iced coffee and cereal means it’s time to head to New Jersey for the weekend and enjoy the comforts of (a well-cooled) home. I’m already dreading the commute though….some things never change. And while my mom is overjoyed at seeing me after just a week and a half away, I’m really planning on just finding the closest body of water and submerging myself up to my nose for the entire weekend. Priorities people, priorities.

A Six-Cup Kind of Day

30 Mar

Everyday is a coffee day for me, but some days just require a bit more caffeination. I was never a coffee drinker until I graduated college, which is when most of my bad habits seemed to expose themselves (See also: making rash decisions, having mental breakdowns, listening to Top 40 radio). And since I’ve started my new job, I’ve tried to relegate myself to drinking coffee in the mornings on my drive to work, which mostly leads to me spilling coffee all over myself and blotting the drips off my pants. I’m really not a morning person.

Despite the fact that I don’t get a paid lunch break or any health benefits, my office has invested in a free, fully stocked coffee station in the kitchenette, which I have already frequented three times today. I’ve sampled the Kona, French Vanilla, and Hazelnut blends so far, and I still have the entire coffee continent of South America delve into.  Five more hours and it’ll be time to switch to decaf!

It hasn’t helped that my sister is home for spring break and I’ve been staying up past my normal bed time of 10:30 (I’m a 22-year-old grandma). It also hasn’t helped that traffic has been a beast this week, despite the lack of rain, snow, or a single cloud in the sky. The culmination of the later nights and my exhausting mornings has me in full slug mode. And since taking a nap isn’t really a viable option, I’ll just plug in the central IV and pray for the shakes.

My Last Night at Work

13 Feb

Before you read the rest of this post, click here, and hit play. Trust me…it’s all part of the blog experience.

Ok, so now that you’re into it, hopefully you’re getting to the chorus. I really love this song, even though those are the only lyrics I know. The chorus works in a variety of situations: charting the last seconds on the microwave, the moments before the next Glee episode, and of course, the last few hours of my shift tonight! In just six hours, eleven minutes and thirteen seconds, I will be closing yet another door on yet another job that didn’t quite work out.

Overall, this was a better experience than my last job, and no tears were shed! But I can’t say I particularly enjoyed myself: the hours were absolutely horrible and for two out of the three months I worked here, I worked two days a week. Thankfully, it was much more temporary than I had anticipated, which is a pleasant and unexpected surprise!

So I’ll be spending my final shift doing what I did on my first shift–staring at a wall and reading about 1,000 New York Times articles. But without this job, I wouldn’t have gotten my next job, so all those hours led to more than just sleep deprivation and a coffee addiction.

My biggest hope is that my new job becomes a steady, long-term position. I’m tired of worrying about my career and where/when/how I’m going to get there. This is the biggest and most positive step towards it I’ve been able to take, and I’m really excited! And I’m already on job three of the average seven people have in their lifetimes, so I better slow down this progression before I use up all my opportunities by 23!

My Parents Went to Miami

29 Jan

So my parents went on vacation this weekend…without my sister and I. What the hell, Mom and Dad. Isn’t the only time you’re supposed to go anywhere is when you can bring us?

But anyway, there’s about 9 billion feet of snow on the ground right now, and it’s supposed to snow consistently throughout the weekend. Looks like I’ll be stuck inside for eternity while my parents live it up at the Fontainebleau. It’s really depressing when you realize your parents lead a more exciting life than you do. They already see their friends way more than I see mine, and they drink a lot more wine.

Now, I wouldn’t say my parents coddle me, but when they’re not around, I’m actually responsible for getting up when my alarm goes off and making my own coffee. Of course, I have several issues with this:

1. I cannot recall A SINGLE TIME IN MY LIFE when I actually get up when my alarm goes off. Usually, my mom comes in and gets me up so I’m not running around like a crazy person with ten minutes to get ready, nothing to wear, and five thousands things to do. Like I did tonight.

2. I cannot make coffee. Every time I try to make coffee, it tastes gross. And I NEED coffee. And because of #1, I didn’t have time to stop and get a better cup, so I choked down the bitter brew and am now shaking at my desk because it was so strong.

So the two things that I’m actually responsible for doing when they’re not around, I suck at. Have I really become this dependent? I recall a time when I lived on my own, got places on time (mostly…) and didn’t need four cups of coffee to function on a normal day. But seven months into living at home, I’m now crippled by the small shreds of responsibility I’m doled out. When did it become so difficult for me to figure out the automatic setting on the coffee maker? I need my mommy!!

O god. What the hell is happening to me?? Please just be the coffee talking, please just be the coffee talking!!