Tag Archives: I’m weird

Not Again!!

7 Nov

It is ridiculous how inappropriately  dressed  I am for this weather today. Obviously this is not new for me, as I find it close to impossible to wrap my brain around the technology of weather.com and and am apparently unable to rotate my neck far enough to look out a window.  I knew snow was coming, I knew it was probably going to rain, and yet I decided to forgo pants for a dress, ski socks for tights, boots for heels, and a blazer for a winter coat. O yea, I also did not bring an umbrella! Excellent pre-planning, as usual.

My inability to pick out a weather appropriate outfit is directly related to my frazzled last-minute clothing choices. This is just one of the many casualties of my disastrous morning routine. And in all honestly, I  can’t even say I’ve been trying that hard to change! This morning for example, I overslept by 45 minutes, got dressed, did my hair and makeup, and then got dressed again because I didn’t like my outfit. Then I gathered my keys, phone and blackberry from their various hidden locations around my apartment, tossed a container of yogurt and an open bag of mini carrots into my purse, and opened my front door. I then decided I wasn’t into this second outfit, so I got dressed again! Three opportunities to put on socks! Three opportunities to wear a sweater! Three opportunities WASTED!

I’ve tried in the past to streamline my mornings, but nothing seems to stick. A few days with an organized purse here, a week of premade lunches there, each enthusiastic attempt eventually rebuffed by an eternal inability to realize how much easier my life would be if I just ripped up some lettuce into a Tupperware and picked out a pair of pants before I went to bed.

Sheesh…who knows what it will take. All I know is that I’m not looking forward to heading home tonight…and neither are my open-toe-sandeled feet!

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Sunday (No) Funday

22 Oct

I haven’t had to work on the weekend in a while, and let me tell you, it’s been grand! I feel like I’ve paid my dues enough with my previous jobs, where I worked every single weekend and holiday for a solid year. Sure, there are people who have worked every weekend for twenty years, and I feel bad for them. Because working on the weekend is one of the most depressing things you can do with your life. The office is empty and dark, and you can’t avoid the constant online-updates of people apple picking or brunching or hanging out in the park and generally having way more fun than you!

I love my weekends now, because I appreciate the break. But when I was in college, I wasn’t such a huge fan, because everyone just slept right through them! I, on the other hand, was incapable of sleeping past 10 am, and would spend the weekend waiting around for someone to go to a museum with me! But now that I don’t have as much free time during the week (and more awake friends) weekends are so lovely! And knowing the type of week I have coming up, I was looking forward to a relaxing one, but as usual, work had other plans! I worked all day on Sunday, and stayed later than I do on a normal weeknight!

Obviously, this was not my initial plan. I had planned to come in for a few hours to get a head start on things. I didn’t expect to see anyone, or talk to anyone, which is why I basically wore my pajamas and no make-up. This alone should have been a sure-fire sign that I would be interacting with someone other than my computer mouse, and sure enough, not even five minutes after sitting down, I ran into my boss! The rest of the afternoon just involved me hiding from her and trying to get my work done as quickly as possible while avoiding the urge to go to Sephora and use all their makeup samples. But before I could even do that, I saw three other people I knew! Where was the office quiet I had dreaded just hours before?!

When I finally left last night, it was under the cloak of darkness–both of the night and from the shirt I put over my head so no one else could see me! I’ve never been more excited for a Sunday to end!

A Divine Intervention

3 Oct

This day has been cray-zeeeee! Everything seemed to be coming to a head all at once today: travel needed to be booked, interviews needed to be discovered, AstroTurf needed to be purchased….yea, it’s been that kind of day. This morning, it felt like I was going around in circles without getting much done! But after a late lunch and a brisk walk around the building to clear my head, the stars began to align and things started coming together!

I’m an ace when it comes to the more organizational aspects of my job, but one of the most nerve-wracking things is trying to book someone for an interview. My own nerves paired with the pressure of deadlines make me approach every phone call with a combination of desperation to get it done, and the fear that I won’t.  Today, I was getting dangerously close to throwing in the towel and throwing myself weeping onto the feet of the producer I was working with, but thankfully a divine intervention occurred, saving me from a hellish level of embarrassment!

Yes, like the heavens parting with a ray of sunshine slicing through the clouds, my office phone rang with an unexpected phone call!  Magically, this person had all the elements for my missing interview! I quickly shared the news while genuflecting down the hallway…it was a religious experience. But all joking aside, it’s amazing what happens in the moments when you feel like you’re up against a wall! My sigh of relief has propelled me through the rest of my day, as I’ve attempted to find places that rent director’s chairs in the middle-of-no-where Georgia! Jesus…take it away!

Fresh!

28 Sep

Earlier this afternoon, I went to the pharmacy to pick up some things, and in a last-minute move, grabbed a pack of gum. BAD IDEA. Because that gum is now gone. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, in just a little over two hours, I’ve chewed seventeen pieces of Trident gum. Minty fresh!

Let me assure you, there is nothing more professional than chomping on a massive wad of gum while in the middle of a conference call. O, you hadn’t heard that? That’s because it’s not professional at all! Yet this is exactly what I did. While other people talked, I chewed–any question directed at me was met with an awkward five-second silence where I tried removing this behemoth of gum paste from my jaws.

I can’t really think of a good reason why I feel the need to chew so many pieces of gum at once, but this has been a life-long obsession/compulsion of mine! One of my biggest childhood goals was to eat an entire roll of Bubble Tape in one sitting (…still unfulfilled…). The best Christmas present I ever received was a case of Orbit…which I promptly finished by New Years! But you’d think as an adult, I’d have gotten my gum consumption under control, especially at work! Who wants to talk to someone with chipmunk cheeks and an eye-watering level of fresh breath? Apparently no one, because I’ve been sitting in silence all day!

So this is why I don’t usually buy gum, except in moments of crippling weakness and impulse purchasing at the drug store. Otherwise, the only time I chew it is when someone offers it to me, and that only opens the flood gates of a deep desire to later rifle through their desk and find the rest of the pack! Trust me on this one, I’ve never stooped that low…but I’ve thought about it. Lock your desks, people!

GO TO SLEEP, ME!

18 Sep

Ugh, I have had the worst time falling asleep lately! It’s getting to the point where I’m starting to dread bedtime, knowing that instead of sweet dreams, I’ll be spending hours staring at the ceiling before my lids decide to cooperate! I thought I had solved this problem during my vacation, where I effectively wiped my brain clean from any and all over-thinking, and even the first week or so after I got back was filled with delightful REM slumber. However, my overactive brain has revved itself back into nocturnal brain-dump mode, and I haven’t been able to fall asleep until 3 am in a week!

The most annoying thing about it is that I spend the entire day dragging and feeling groggy. Then I go home and sit around some more because I’m too tired to do anything! You’d think this compounded exhaustion would send me to bed at 9pm, but once I brush my teeth and hit the sack, that’s when my mind decides to explode. “What could you possibly be thinking about for four hours before you fall asleep?” you may ask. Well, wouldn’t you like to know! Basically, in the dark of night, my mind flits from one thing to the next, a paper-thin connection the only segue. Observe, an excerpt from my mind, at 1 am:

“This was a busy day–of course I could’ve been more productive, so I should really start formulating my to-do list right now, and then repeat it ten times over so I don’t forget it in the morning. Specifically, don’t forget that you have to send those emails! Also don’t forget it’s your grandpa’s birthday and you should call him. Speaking of…your phone. It sucks. Why don’t you get an iPhone? I guess it’s kind of expensive and I should be saving money. Which reminds me, I need to pay my electric bill. That was kind of a lot this month, thank goodness I don’t have to use my fan anymore now that it’s cooler! Fall! I love fall so much! What’s the weather going to be like tomorrow? What am I going to wear? I should break out that blue blazer…o wait, it has red on it, I should really get just a plain blue blazer. I should run to the Gap during lunch! Good point…I should try to get up earlier and make my lunch tomorrow. I think it would be cool if I was a chef. Maybe I’ll go to culinary school someday! Oh my God, remember that time in college when I made huevos rancheros and put an entire can of jalapenos in it? I really like Mexican food. Maybe I’ll take my next vacation to Mexico! How cool would that be? Travelling is so much fun, I loved living abroad. Studying abroad was really great, I should just rehash every trip I went on during those four months right at this very moment, because what else is there to do, you know?”

Uh, maybe I should add “Get a prescription for Ambien” to my list of nightly musings….

I Need to Get Away

27 Jul

OMG, OMG, OMGeeeeee…this day needs to be OVER! There are approximately six hours and three minutes until I clock out, before making the mad(denning) rush to the Port Authority, punching someone in the face, getting on a bus to New Jersey, sitting in an hour of traffic, and then getting in a car and driving to the Catskills. Sigh….so many hours away from anything resembling relaxation!

I am in DESPERATE need of a change of scenery. The past few months have been a roller coaster of busy-ness which has recently come to a screeching halt. My motivation and productivity have sunk to an all time low,  the weather is disgusting, my apartment is hot, and I haven’t slept well in weeks! My desire to do anything besides drink margaritas and online shop is getting to hang out, and MY HAIR LOOKS HORRIBLE. I am a hot mess of emotions!

I am honestly just over summer. It’s only July, and I’m already dreaming of crisp fall weather, apple picking, and tweed.  Plus, the fact that my vacation is still an entire month away is just unfathomable at this point! Will my toes ever touch soft sand or feel the  lap of the ocean waves?  Will my skin ever not be pale and sallow?? Will I ever leave this city for more than three days at a time??? Hopefully a weekend of fresh air and ice pops will help reset my mental clarity and put me in a better mood. If not, it’s a LONG time until the end of August!

A Schedule of Sloth

19 Jul

My productivity level has officially hit a brick wall. After last week’s busy yet rewarding work week, I knew I’d have some down time, which I was both looking forward to and dreading! As much as I try to anticipate it, I’m still struck by how quickly I fall back into the pattern of lackadaisical laziness! Time and time again, the week works itself out like clockwork:

Friday afternoon: After a race to the finish, I finish up early and pat myself and my coworkers on the back, before busting out of work early and heading to the happy hour/social activity/…far more likely, the comfort of my bed.

Friday night: I make it to 9:30 PM, then fall asleep to the steady lull of my own lameness and the ending credits of Grey’s Anatomy. 

Saturday-Sunday: I catch up on sleep, talk about how tired I am, brag about my busy work week, and am all together a very pleasant person to be around, obviously.

Monday morning: I come in charged and refreshed, only to get distracted by People magazine, before getting my third cup of coffee, before moving onto my New York Times queue, before giving myself a pass because it’s Monday and I was busy last week and then leaving at 5:30.

Tuesday-Friday: See Monday morning. 

I don’t know what gets into me, but unless I am working like crazy, I barely do any work at all! All of the motivation that fuels my busiest weeks must get stored someplace far away from my brain. My intentions are to keep myself busy–there are always things to organize, stories to pitch, memoirs to write, right?! But instead, I find myself day after day shopping for summer dresses, daydreaming about my vacation, and researching adult ballet classes (still looking for that hobby…).

Ugh, I need to get in the game! Snap out of it, me! Find that ambition, reignite that spark! O…it’s 5:30, you say? Well in that case, I guess it’s time to call it a day!