Tag Archives: life

A Year Has Passed

1 Oct

This is a rather momentous day for me, in that it’s my official one-year anniversary at my job! Yes, this time last year, I finally rid myself of the loathed “freelance” title and somehow managed to secure a spot as a full-time staffer. Gone were the angst-filled car rides and anxiety-laden conversations about “Where is my life going?” Actually…I still have that conversation everyday. Well, at least I can see a certified shrink about it with my company health benefits!

When I think about the sheer level of emotions I had before I got this job, it’s amazing I was able to get through the day without melting into a pile of neuroses and tears! The uncertainty of whether I would have a job or have to look for another one left me in a constant state of distress! Every decision I made seemed monumental, and led to many sleepless nights. By the middle of September, I was convinced I would never get rid of my eye bags or my throbbing ulcer!

But in the year that I’ve been working here full-time, it’s amazing to see the warm wave of stability that has washed over my life! Sure, I’m still filled with thoughts….so many thoughts. Life thoughts, work thoughts, hair thoughts, lunch thoughts…this brain refuses to quit! But without the weight of my over-dramatic world resting on my shoulders, life has gotten easier and I’m so much more carefree! I should celebrate by hugging my boss and getting a cupcake! …Maybe I’ll just stick with that last part if I’m invested in staying here until year two!

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The Stars Are Rude

21 Sep

This week…needs to be over. I’m tired and ready to bask in the gloriousness of this amazing weather and indulge in a very large glass of wine! Some weeks are just like this, in that they drag and are filled with lots of emotions! I should have expected it though, after I read my horoscope earlier this week!

Usually, I don’t buy into that stuff, and I’ve never in my life explained a personality trait by saying “O, that’s because I’m an Aries.” I’ve never attempted to start a conversation by asking “What’s your sign?” Basically, horoscopes are meant to be read in spacey accents, with lots of oohs and aahs. When I was in high school, my sister and I used to read everyone’s horoscope from our teen magazines…my married father got lots of flirting advice on snagging the perfect “boy-toy” back in the day!

But the other day while chatting with my friend, she decided to share my horoscope with me, and it was the worst one I had ever read! Apparently, my week was destined to suck, because of my “swinging mood,” my tendency to “fly off the handle,” and the fact that I am “egocentric.” Then, to make it even worse, the creme de la creme:  “It looks like you’re going to end up alone since the stars have decided to run away. Bless them, they should be able to enjoy a much nicer week than in your company.” That was my actual horoscope! Uh, the stars are a bunch of rude jerks!

I’m not saying this week was bad because the stars didn’t align, but maybe I should be paying better attention to the cosmos! I have a few fun weekend things planned but don’t want to ruin them if my moon beams aren’t in balance! Ugh, I think I just need to take a deep breath and look forward to a nice weekend and a new week…and maybe also schedule an appointment with a sage!

I’ve Been Published! Am I Famous Yet?

17 Jan

I’m very excited to share that I’ve been published on HelloGiggles.com! For once, I spent my evening doing something productive: becoming an insanely famous writer! Just kidding…but it’s really exciting to be published on such a fun website. An excerpt is below, and you can read the whole thing here!

MOVING AWAY FROM MY MOTHER HAS TURNED ME INTO MY MOTHER

by From Our Readers

Tonight, after finishing dinner, I washed my dishes, swept my kitchen floor and then stared at my cook top. How does that thing get so dirty? I’m one person for Pete’s sake, and yet there are splatters and rice grains and disgustingly, hair, all over the place. So for the second time this week, I whipped out my Clorox spray and a sponge and got to work. And oh how good it felt, to once again have a clean oven. I even got a little crazy and started scrubbing the char that had built up on the grates, before stopping mid-scrub, a single bead of cold sweat gathering at my temple. Someone was doing the same exact thing at this very moment, and it was not another 23-year-old relishing in the freedom of her new apartment. It was my mother.

READ THE REST HERE! 

Dancing Queen

14 Nov

I had an awesome weekend! It’s been a while since that’s happened…I’m used to spending my weekends taking my dog for a walk and making homemade pizza with my mom before watching When Harry Met Sally for the 50th time and openly weeping. Hahaha, what a funny joke…but seriously. So I was in definite need of a fun city weekend, which happened to coincide with my friend’s birthday. Perfect timing? I think so.

When I tell you that my legs are sore from dancing until LITERALLY 6 o’clock in the morning, that should give you an idea of how my friends and I broke it out this weekend. We swayed, we sashayed, we boogeyed, we bounced, we twirled, we two-stepped…you get the point. But you could not stop this! It was just a blast to be out with my friends and have a great time. My move to the city has awakened the happy and care-free side of myself that has been trapped on the 197 NJ Transit bus for the past year and a half. The amount of stress and angst that’s been alleviated from my life is just unbelievable to me, and it’s been instantaneous. I’m just loving the change! And I’m now OK with the fact that next weekend, I will probably be making home-made pizza and watching When Harry Met Sally for the 51st time. Life needs balance, and I have finally found some.

A Bad Dream

13 Jun

Last night, I  had a really bad dream. I will explain, and offer my interpretations below.**

It started out in the shadows of a torrential down pour, as I drove home from a weekend spent with friends in the city (light giving way to darkness, ergo the change in psyche as I made my journey home). The rain pounded, my windshield wipers whipped, (representing the end of the week chaos)  and then, like a stroke of lightning, the passenger side window magically disappeared into the door of my car (no interpretation possible). While my subconscious contemplated the deeper meaning of such bizarre happenstance, the wind and rain continued to fall, soaking the inside of my car, and the side of my face (tears, anguish over my piece of $#*% car).

Fast forward–I find myself at home, in the garage (aka my soul) trying desperately to pull the window out from in-between the miniscule space with a pair of needle nose pliers too wide to fit the gap (dreams and ambitions too large accomplish in the small space of my day, obviously). My dad comes down to help me, and after attempting to fix the window himself, realizes it will need to be fixed by a professional. He tapes a black sheet of plastic over the window, but tells me he will help (suppression of said dreams and ambitions, my dependence). I cry.

Fast forward again–It’s now Sunday morning, and I am tired (my literal lack of sleep). I go down for breakfast, and my dad tells me I should find a way to fix my car as soon as possible. After wracking my brain in an attempt to find a spare second of time in which I have to do this (overwhelming nature of life), and expressing my frustration in the fact that I can find none, I tell my dad I thought he would be able to help. He tells me he’s changed his mind and I will have to handle this on my own because I am “negative”. He then quips that perhaps my car will get stolen and my problem will be solved (my search for an easy way out?). He gets up and leaves me in the kitchen alone, then spends the rest of the day pretending nothing happened. I spend the rest of the day trying to find an open garage, checking bus schedules, and begging friends for the use of their couch while my car gets repaired (a continuous cycle of dependency and exasperation). DREAM ENDS.

What a thinker. But wait…hold on just one second….that wasn’t a dream.

THAT WAS MY WEEKEND.

 

**I do not know how to interpret dreams

The Next Wave

18 May

Last week, I wrote about how I was one year out from my college graduation, and today, all my friends took the plunge! So congratulations to all my wonderful friends, who made it through college, donned those hideous robes and are now poised to take that first marvelous step into the real world, in all its shining and sparking glory!

Errr, poetics aside, enjoy this day while it lasts people, because post grad life is the gift that keeps on giving. It gives, and it gives, and it gives, until you think it couldn’t possibly bestow any more drama/frustration/poverty/insanity your way, and then it gives a little more. So enjoy that $30 steak dinner your parents are treating you to, because it’ll be a while before you taste anymore of the fruits of your labor!

But to end on a positive note–Congratulations. You conquered higher education! You are a college graduate, and now you will get presents and a Dairy Queen ice cream cake. Yay!