Tag Archives: massive relief

A Divine Intervention

3 Oct

This day has been cray-zeeeee! Everything seemed to be coming to a head all at once today: travel needed to be booked, interviews needed to be discovered, AstroTurf needed to be purchased….yea, it’s been that kind of day. This morning, it felt like I was going around in circles without getting much done! But after a late lunch and a brisk walk around the building to clear my head, the stars began to align and things started coming together!

I’m an ace when it comes to the more organizational aspects of my job, but one of the most nerve-wracking things is trying to book someone for an interview. My own nerves paired with the pressure of deadlines make me approach every phone call with a combination of desperation to get it done, and the fear that I won’t.  Today, I was getting dangerously close to throwing in the towel and throwing myself weeping onto the feet of the producer I was working with, but thankfully a divine intervention occurred, saving me from a hellish level of embarrassment!

Yes, like the heavens parting with a ray of sunshine slicing through the clouds, my office phone rang with an unexpected phone call!  Magically, this person had all the elements for my missing interview! I quickly shared the news while genuflecting down the hallway…it was a religious experience. But all joking aside, it’s amazing what happens in the moments when you feel like you’re up against a wall! My sigh of relief has propelled me through the rest of my day, as I’ve attempted to find places that rent director’s chairs in the middle-of-no-where Georgia! Jesus…take it away!


A Year Has Passed

1 Oct

This is a rather momentous day for me, in that it’s my official one-year anniversary at my job! Yes, this time last year, I finally rid myself of the loathed “freelance” title and somehow managed to secure a spot as a full-time staffer. Gone were the angst-filled car rides and anxiety-laden conversations about “Where is my life going?” Actually…I still have that conversation everyday. Well, at least I can see a certified shrink about it with my company health benefits!

When I think about the sheer level of emotions I had before I got this job, it’s amazing I was able to get through the day without melting into a pile of neuroses and tears! The uncertainty of whether I would have a job or have to look for another one left me in a constant state of distress! Every decision I made seemed monumental, and led to many sleepless nights. By the middle of September, I was convinced I would never get rid of my eye bags or my throbbing ulcer!

But in the year that I’ve been working here full-time, it’s amazing to see the warm wave of stability that has washed over my life! Sure, I’m still filled with thoughts….so many thoughts. Life thoughts, work thoughts, hair thoughts, lunch thoughts…this brain refuses to quit! But without the weight of my over-dramatic world resting on my shoulders, life has gotten easier and I’m so much more carefree! I should celebrate by hugging my boss and getting a cupcake! …Maybe I’ll just stick with that last part if I’m invested in staying here until year two!

The End of the Road

10 Apr

I took the bus home this weekend, and after my dad picked me up, we headed home. Pulling into the driveway, there were two things I remarked on: 1. That all the flowers were blooming and 2. That the two-ton scab that had sat outside my parents’ house for fifteen months–the broken-down, money-sucking hub of misery, Public Enemy #1 in my angst-filled, post-collegiate life–was gone, a shiny oil-slick from the leaking engine the only trace left that it had ever been there at all. That’s right, ladies and gentlemen: MY CAR IS GONE!

Despite my wishes it be pushed off the edge of a cliff, my parents took the more traditional route and put the car on Craigslist. Shockingly, someone actually bought it! I thought I was the only idiot that would fall for such a lemon, but apparently there is someone else either equally as desperate for a car, or equally as blinded by the irrationality of a recent graduate thrown into hell like I was. Ah, such good times.

That car was the last artifact of my rather rocky life before I moved into the city, and frankly, I will not mourn its loss in the slightest. However, if I must give it a memorial, I’ll resurrect the timeline from my first year of car ownership. But since it only goes through June, and I drove the car until November,  this timeline omits two new tires, a leaking oil pan, a shattered tail light, thirty parking tickets, a broken windshield wiper, and other various broken car parts that I don’t know the technical names for. Car, I will NOT miss you.

See the timeline here.

Then and Now: A Commuting Comparison

4 Nov

I’ve been living in the city for six days so far, and it’s frankly amazing how much calmer I feel. This week has been really crazy with work, but without the stress and worry over commuting, my daily disposition has been pulled out of the gutter and into the heavens above!

Take for example, last Thursday night. You may have seen me crying in a dirty bus terminal after I realized I had left my car key in my jacket back at work, after waiting over an hour just to get on a bus. It took me almost four hours to get home when all was said and done, breaking my previous record of three and a half hours just that previous Monday!

This Thursday, however, I dawdled around work chatting with coworkers, then took a leisurely stroll to the subway and made it to my front door in less than a half hour! I made a nice dinner, listened to some jazz music, and wrote my poetic musings in my leather-bound moleskin. Ahem…well, slight exaggeration, but still! I actually had time to enjoy my evening. It’s been over a year and a half since I’ve spent my weeknights doing something other than eating microwaved hamburger casserole and going to bed at 10:45 PM.

My mornings have been lovely too. Let’s take a look back at this Monday, where I slept in until 8:30 am, made eggs and toast for breakfast, plugged in the curling iron (and actually used it…), and got to my office with ten minutes to spare before the morning meeting! Just a week before that, I was idling in absolute gridlock for an hour and a half because of an over-turned dump truck, almost got into a slap-fight with an idiot on the escalator at the Port Authority, and was two hours late for work. I could not make this stuff up, people, and yet that was my life, for A YEAR AND A HALF.

But now my life is filled with eggs and toast and morning walks and curled hair and hot dinners and jazz music at night and relaxing mornings and yoga before bed and arriving places on time and massive sighs of relief and IT’S ONLY THE FIRST WEEK!!

Apartment Hunt Part 2, Round 2…..SUCCESS!

31 Oct

Just a few weeks ago, I restarted my apartment hunt, and just last night, I moved in!

Yeaaahhhhh….life’s been a bit of a blur lately, and my apartment hunt was even more speedy–I looked at one place and signed the papers! Technically, this was the 14th place I had seen overall, if you count my ill-fated attempts with Mr. Smokestack  a few months ago. But the apartment is beautiful, naturally outside my price range, but not outrageously so, and the clincher: It’s 20 MINUTES FROM WORK. I don’t think I had admired the atomic clock on the stove for more than 15 seconds before I was signing the lease and whipping off certified checks like I had been born with a pen in my hand! The place just felt like mine though….the timing was right, the savings had been saved, and if I had to suffer through one more soul-crushing commute, I was literally going to kill someone. Times were dire, let me tell ya. Plus, did I mention it has a fireplace? A fireplace, people. I can’t get over it.

Of course, the second my brain was filled with apartment details, my work day was filled with insanity, and it’s been a crazy few weeks trying to find time to fit it all in. For the past two weeks, I’d been getting home at 9:30, scarfing down cereal, and then rushing down to an unheated basement to paint my old furniture. Then it was back up to my laptop to spend a ridiculous amount of time planning my bathroom color scheme, which never materialized, and picking a couch, which barely did….but more on that later.

So many more details to share, but now it’s time to hop on the subway and unlock my front door….all before 7 pm! I never thought I’d ever look forward to an evening commute, but it looks like there’s always room for change!

Mission Accomplished

26 Oct

Aaaaannnnd I still have a job! Phew! I kid, I kid, but this weekend went really quite wonderfully! Everyone made their flights, saving me from making frantic phone calls to our corporate travel department, everyone had a hotel room, saving me from sleeping in the lobby of the Opryland Hotel, and the catering showed up, saving us all from being hungry.  Things pretty much went on without a hitch, and I got to enjoy some bonding time with my boss, free meals, and a king sized bed! Business trips are awesome.

The best thing about this weekend was the group dinner on Friday night. Everyone on the trip got together to swap stories and share a (rather expensive, though not on my dime!) meal, and it was actually a little surreal! I remember not too long ago being enamored and intimidated by the higher-ups and successful journalists I work with, and now I was sitting across the table from them! It was like all of my career aspirations were in the flesh, picking at pistachio crusted salmon and dabbing sauce off their chins. Pretty weird.

For my part, I managed to remain relatively calm and non-awkward throughout the weekend. I refrained from my horrible, mildly offensive Southern accent,  made charming conversation, and shook hands and made eye contact at the appropriate times. And when I got on the plane Sunday night, I breathed a sigh of relief that lasted until we pulled up to the gate at Laguardia airport!

It’s All Happening!!!

10 Oct

So….OMG….this is big….this is happening….this is real…..and I’m telling you….very shortly…..it’s exciting….I’m stalling….is this funny yet?….. it is to me….. because….. well…. really…. um…….


Yes! It happened! I cried! I’m happy! I can’t speak in full sentences! I’m overwhelmed! IT’S REAL!! But the story is this: a few weeks ago, a full-time position opened up for the job I have, and naturally, I applied and then immediately started freaking out about it. Mostly I freaked out about the imminent mental breakdown that would occur if I didn’t get it. Although looking back, I did try my best to stay level-headed, because I really felt like I had done everything I could to prove that I deserved this job. It’s been an amazing six months, so at least I could leave on a high, knowing I gave it my all.

Yea….but actually I was FREAKING OUT. To cope, I devised my unemployment plan, which involved me driving to the Catskills to become one with nature and draft my memoirs among the thickets and ember-colored foliage. I’d go on nature walks, take artistic photos of ferns and meditate beneath the setting sun. Then I would go home, refreshed, and find another job. Simple as pie, right?

Well, I think we can all deduce that that’s not exactly how it would happen. This was just something I wanted so badly I almost couldn’t bear to think of what would happen if I didn’t get it. I just love this job, and have known for so long that this is what I want to be doing that I can’t even begin to describe the overwhelming sense of relief when my boss told me the news. I literally thought I was going to cry….tears of joy this time! Thankfully, I held it together, and then proceeded to take out a billboard in Times Square to announce the news!

So it was all worth it–my mind-numbing first job, my exhausting second job, the months of angst, the commutes, the tears, the life-doubting, the highs, the lows…. it was all worth it in the end! And now I can look for apartments! Dreams really do come true!