Tag Archives: obnoxious people

Time For A Break!

6 Apr

I always know when I need a break from the city when I want to punch my hand through a wall, consistently, for ten hours.  This has not been an especially good week–I locked myself out of my apartment, my drunken psychopath neighbor returned from whatever psych ward he was at and was cursing and ranting until the early hours, and I haven’t been able to get a seat on the subway all week! The one saving grace is that I’ve been blow drying my hair in the morning, and it looks great. But is it enough to keep me from getting into an angry brawl before the day is over?

Usually, city life doesn’t bother me, but when I know I’m going to be leaving, even just for the weekend, everything seems exaggerated. Yesterday, I rode the subway home and a woman was holding onto the bar, her arm level with my nose. Every time the train would lurch, her arm would hit me in the face. Yes, this would always be annoying, but last night I was two seconds away from punching her in the neck! I settled on glaring at her so intensely I had crow’s-feet by the time I got off the train!

Then there’s my insane neighbor. I have never seen this man, but he makes sure that everyone within a thirty block radius can hear his senseless ranting when the mood strikes. After a half hour of incessant obscenities and offensive drivel, I started banging on my wall, shouting “SHUT UP” at the top of my lungs. If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em, right? He either passed out or moved to another room, and my fury gave way to exhaustion and I slept like a rock!

And then there are the smokers, the slow walkers, the cell-phone addicts, the baby strollers–daily obstacles that, this week, seem to be hitting my last nerve. Of course, it will reach the climax tonight when I arrive at the hub of all misery, the headquarters for the world’s most annoying and oblivious people: The Port Authority Bus Terminal.  Thank God it’s Easter and Jesus is in a forgiving mood!


This Day Stinks

6 Feb

What. A. Day. I should never have gotten up this morning…or even went to bed last night! After coming home from a Superbowl party last night, I was so exhausted from the excitement of the GIANTS WINNING that I went right to bed. Well, not even ten minutes later, the drunken super of my apartment building started shouting obscenities at the top of his lungs, and began banging away downstairs, apparently attempting to fix the front door of our building, which doesn’t close all the way. May I remind you that it was midnight. Need I remind you also that he had THE ENTIRE WEEKEND to do this. He also has THE ENTIRE DAY. A door not closing all the way is not an emergency that needs to be taken care of in the middle of the night, with power tools no less!

Well, this went on until 3 in the morning. Around 2 am, I got out of bed and pounded on the inside of my door three times, in an attempt to send a message that he should SHUT UP. Well, it sent a message alright, one that sent him into even more of a drunken rage. I was extremely close to calling the police, but I guess I finally got used to the grating tone of his constant stream of chatter and fell asleep.

So this morning, I was naturally expecting the door downstairs to be painted in solid gold and to be hermetically sealed, but it was exactly the same! This sent me into my own internal rage, which of course has colored the rest of my day so far and has set off a slew of other Monday-morning blues. When I got into work this morning, my ID didn’t work, the printer started printing out important documents on fluorescent colored paper, and the coffee machine was once again broken. Is it Friday yet??

Personal Space

2 Feb

Sorry for the lack of posts this week–I’ve been recovering from the massive trauma that was my Monday morning commute. I kid–it actually was not that bad! The past times that I’ve gone home since moving into the city, my dad has driven me back in on Sunday night, but this time, we were too engrossed in the SAG awards and before we knew it, it was a little too late. Which meant that I had to get up very early. By the time I got to work on Monday morning, I had already been up for four hours! Needless to say, it was a rather long day!

When I got on the bus Monday morning, it was surprisingly empty, so I had the row to myself. Because I had my suitcase, I was able to put it on the seat next to me, freeing up the already limited leg room. When we got to the next stop, the line was also pretty short, so I didn’t even bother moving my bag. But just as the last person got on and we were ready to pull away, one lone strap-hanger ran frantically across the parking lot. I’m surprised his coat didn’t get caught in the door as we pulled away!

Now, despite the fact that both the rows in front and next to mine both had empty seats, this guy decides he wants to sit next to me! So I had to move my suitcase under the seat and prop my legs on top of it, which was fine I suppose–who really needs leg room for 2 hours? But then this delightful man decides to read his newspaper, opening it up to its full expanse, cutting of most of my arm room! I went from having an entire row to barely half of a seat, much to the complete oblivion of this idiot.

I finally cast him one sideways-glance too many, and he got the picture and folded up his newspaper. Obviously I’m not the only one that’s a little slow in the mornings! I swear, if it’s not one thing on the bus, it’s something else!

The Jerk on the Bus

5 Oct

This morning, there was a HUGE jerk on the bus….and for once it wasn’t me! I kid….I usually keep my pent-up frustrations inside before exploding into rage once I get to my car, perpetually stewing until I get home and unload on my poor parents. But I digress.

Usually the bus is scheduled to leave at 8:52, and usually, it does not. That’s just the way of the world I suppose. While those spare minutes are often the difference between squeezing past traffic and being stuck in it for an additional twenty minutes, bus drivers don’t typically think in this manner. It doesn’t phase them to hold up 30 people because one person is fumbling with their dollar coins to pay for their ticket, when another bus is just 10 minutes away. It doesn’t occur to these bus drivers that the schedule was made for a reason–to get people places on time. I can probably count on one single hand the number of times my bus has left on time, and it’s been the times when I’m running a minute or two late. Ah, life.

But this morning, at 8:51, the guy sitting next to me looked at his watch, and loudly shouted “Hey drivah, what time does this bus leave?” The bus driver answered that it left at 8:52. “Well that time is it now drivah?” this jerkface squawked. After looking at the clock, the bus driver said it was, in fact, 8:52. “Well whatta we doing here then, drivah?” To which everyone did a collective groan and eye-roll at his rudeness, before the bus driver pulled silently away.

Granted, it was 8:52, and the bus should’ve been leaving. But being rude and obnoxious is just not necessary. Plus, it set the tone for the rest of the ride. A woman two seats in front of me sat up and snapped at the woman behind her to “shut her damn phone off.” This original jerk made it acceptable to be hostile. But listen pal, if you don’t expect to leave late, sit in traffic, deal with obnoxious passengers talking on their phones, constantly jerk to a stop, sustaining whiplash several times in a single ride, pull in at 900 different gates, and idle for a few minutes before getting off the bus, THEN DON’T TAKE NEW JERSEY TRANSIT.

Dear God, Please Make it Sunny Again

28 Sep

Dear God,

Here’s the deal. I’m really, really, REALLY sick of this weather. My hair is sick of this weather. My summer/fall wardrobe is sick of this weather. It’s time for you to let the sun shine, and for the beautiful fall weather I adore so much to arrive. Last time I checked, I lived in Jersey, not the jungle.

I know I tend to ask you for a lot of silly things (like the time I begged you to make someone steal my car so I could collect the insurance money, or my daily prayers for a commute that’s less than two hours) but this is no joke. I am tired of the gray weather, the constant rain, and the disgusting humidity. Please God, make the sky turn that beautiful crisp blue and the thermometer drop below 65 degrees so I can wear my new tweed blazer. I look really good in that blazer.

Here’s the thing, God. People act really dumb when it’s raining, dumber than they usually do, if you can imagine that! (Of course you can…you’re God.) A rainy day means that people drive slower, make right hand turns slower, shift lanes slower…frankly it’s driving me insane. And then, when I finally get to the city, people are doubly preoccupied with the difficult task of holding an umbrella and walking at the same time! I hate to admit this, but more than once I have contemplated poking someone with the tip of my umbrella, which is rather sharp. Fine…I’ll admit I think about this a lot. Like, a lot a lot.

So God, please. Give me fall. Give me sun. Give me one day without frizzy, unmanageable hair.

Love always,


Things That Are Making 2011 Look Like 2010

2 Jan

On the bus ride to work today, I spilled coffee all over my face. This burn, which encompassed most of my left nostril, actually helped to even out the scalding burns from the  other 10 billion times I’ve done this. While I was dabbing off the dripping coffee and cursing under my breath, I realized that since 2011 started, perhaps things aren’t changing as instantaneously as I typically anticipate of the new year. Other such examples:

1. I sat at many red lights on the way home from work:This goes against my resolution to no longer sit at red lights on the way home from work.

2. I woke up late: I thought 2011 would be my year to actually GET UP when my alarm goes off. But it’s not.

3. People are still freakin idiots: Ok, so it is Saturday night, and people are nursing/adding to hangovers.  But it’s the new year! Shouldn’t all of these people have made a resolution to not be freakin idiots/take up the entire sidewalk/meander around like FREAKIN IDIOTS?

4. I still want to punch 90% of the world in the face: Yea, maybe I need to work on my patience a tad bit more…

See, this is the problem with New Years–you expect to wake up on January 1st and have this perfect, rectified life. All your faults gone, all of everyone else’s faults gone, all the little glitches in your life system magically smoothed out. This is probably why people don’t keep their resolutions, because it’s just too easy to slide back into the bad habits of yesteryear (well, actually, yesterday). But I haven’t bitten my nails since 2010, so I’m one for five baby!

I think I’m being too hard on myself….and the world. So it was almost like a sign when I saw this video and realized how small/unimportant my life really is. Nothing like an ego-smash to start your day.

Awkward Encounters on the 197

16 Dec

Now, it’s really no secret that my feelings for New Jersey Transit are questionable at best. However, the past few weeks have been surprisingly pleasant, probably because not too many people are commuting into the city at 11:00 at night. Plus, the bus drivers are usually on time, the best seats usually empty, and the trip relatively painless. So I was actually starting to feel some fondness for my little nightly bus ride and the in-depth conversations I was having with the driver: Me: Hi. Her: Hi.

Riveting. Say what you will, but this worked out fine for me. Maybe I’m being anti-social, but I just don’t have a desire to befriend my bus driver. But of course, all good (mediocre) things must come to an end. Apparently, she had other ideas on the trajectory of our relationship, because night after night, little tidbits of curiosity began to factor into our pleasantries.


Me: Hi. Her: Where do you work in the mall? Me: O, I don’t work at the mall. I work in the city, an overnight shift. Can you get this bus rolling please?


Me: Hi. Her: How do you get to this parking lot at night? Does someone drive you? Me: I have a car. It’s 11:01. Let’s shove off.

This should have been a sign of our relationship souring, because as an employee of New Jersey Transit, I think she was getting the sense that maybe I’m stiffing her company a bit. Which I am.


Me: Hi. Her: You’re not allowed to park in this lot overnight, you know. Have you ever gotten a ticket? Cops are around here all the time. Me: No I haven’t. Her: It’s only $25 to park here a month you know!

So now my bus driver and I aren’t friends anymore, mostly because she became a bit of a bitch. It’s not really my fault that I’m the cheapest person I know and would rather walk half a mile in the frigid temps than pay an extra fee for parking. It’s my mother’s. And the walks are good for the lungs!

Of course, she’s been my bus driver EVERY NIGHT since. Doesn’t this woman ever take a break? Our conversations have been relegated back to our original exchange, except I now have a feeling I’m going to be arrested by the NJ Transit police. If she asks what kind of car I have, it’s a red Camry. Hear that everyone? A red Camry.