Tag Archives: so much boredom

Things I Bought This Week

16 Aug

This is shaping up to be week four of, drumroll please: “Literally having nothing to do for eight solid hours a day…so I might as well just spend money on stuff.” The past couple of weeks have been slow ones, and when I have nothing better to do, I online shop. Or rather online browse, until I finally just break down and buy a bunch of stuff in one day. Yesterday was that day.

It started with a simple search for a new bathing suit for my upcoming vacation, which turned into looking for a summer dress, which spiraled into shopping for a fall dress, which led me to boots, which led me back to flip-flops for my vacation, which left me dangerously close to booking another vacation. Thankfully, sanity stepped in on that last part, but in two-to-three weeks, I’ll be receiving packages like it’s nobody’s business!

I need to find a more productive way to channel my restlessness. Last summer, I whiled away the hours on Craigslist, and at my first job, I spent the endless bouts of free time weeping in the bathroom. So I guess I’ve evolved a little bit? At least I’ll be fashionable, right? Right?! …In the mean time, I better find a part-time job to pay these bills!

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Sick Day Duldrums

23 Sep

Yesterday, I was feeling under the weather and decided to stay home. After passing out the night before, forgetting to turn on my alarm, oversleeping, looking at my unwashed visage in the mirror, and feeling my brain pound against the outer rim of my skull, I made the executive decision to take a bunch of Advil, crawl back into bed, and catch up on my shows.

And thus began the longest day EVER. Usually, my day is split into several chunks of time: 2 hours for my commute, 3 hours of work before lunch, 4 hours of work after lunch, and 2 hours to get home. When faced with an unbroken swath of time, the hours just drag. Even though I woke up around noon, eliminating those first five hours, the afternoon crawled by, a seemingly endless expanse of time that Oprah no longer fills. I watched Glee, read a book, searched the internet, practiced piano,  took a nap, read some more….and it was only 3:00! By dinner, I was going absolutely stir crazy–my poor mother knew I was feeling better when I started singing her my dinner request. “Eggs with mushrooms, la di daa, is so good in my bellyyyy.” Yea. That definitely happened.

I just have a really hard time managing free time these days–an hour doing nothing is pretty much an hour wasted in my book. Even when I’m not feeling well, I expect myself to operate at high-octane levels. I just feel I need to make up for all the time I spend at work and getting to and from. Granted, I’m not the Tasmanian devil at work either–there are plenty of days when I’m not exactly making the most of my workday, but at least I’m getting paid for that!

Thankfully, I’m feeling better today. And thankfully, because it’s a Friday, the office is quiet and I can catch up on what I missed with limited distraction. And then it’s the weekend….two whole days of free time! I better start planning now!!

Why I Hate Boredom

24 Mar

The past two weeks have slowed down from the manic pace of my first weeks here, finally sputtering to a complete halt. I’ve spent the past few days living in deja vu: endless New York Times reading (while it’s still free), endless Facebook-ing, and endless paranoia that I will never be successful at anything I ever do. Aaannnddd I’m over-dramatic.

Yes, for me, boredom=crippling insecurity. With nothing else to occupy it, my mind floats into “life-failure” territory, and all the things I was sure of when I was busier–or had less time to think about–come waltzing back in, ready to upend the confidence I reached along with a staggering ability to multi-task. Now, my multi-tasking consists of drinking my fifth cup of tea while texting my sister at the same time.

But shouldn’t I be changing the world at this point? I mean, I’ve already been here A MONTH.

Hopefully you all got that little bit of sarcasm. I need to get it too. It’s been a month. Just a month! Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither will my journalism career. I’m just completely immune to the idea of a little something called PATIENCE. But when everyday seems to present another life-changing choice, (should I drive my car off a cliff? Should I move out or live home? Should I cut bangs in my hair?) the idea of stability and anything longterm is a completely foreign concept.

I’m just not the sort of person that does well with nothing to do. Maybe I need to relax, sign up for yoga. Maybe I need to realize that they hired me for a reason and that they’re not discussing my total uselessness upstairs in the corner office. Maybe I’m just an egomaniac who needs to stop drinking so much coffee in the morning. Maybe I really just need to find something productive to do that doesn’t include the words “apartment” and “hunting.”

The Final Countdown…Part FOREVER

21 Feb

Last week, I counted down the final hours of my shift, watched the clock tick to midnight and skipped back to the Port Authority for that last tortuous bus ride. I had my new job to look forward to, a job that came so easily and out of the blue, I was pretty shocked. If you recall, the conversation that led me to get this job went something like this:

New Boss: Hi! When do you think you can start working for us?

Me: Huminah, huminah….omg YAY! Tomorrow?

But in reality, when is anything that easy? A month later, I’m still itching for that new job and dealing with one dead-ended conversation after the next, most of them going something like this:

Old Boss: skldjflksjdflkjselkjglkjhlkdj;aldlfkjal;fkgj lskjglkjlfkajsd;lkfjlskdjf. So see, that’s why you can’t start until next week.

But last week, a month of deliberations, two-day work weeks, no paychecks, and 968 hours worth of SNL skits later, I was told I would be starting my job this Monday. So why am I sitting on my couch in my pajamas right now? O, here’s the answer for you: I suddenly became important to my old boss–so important that she pushed my start date back again so I could train a new employee she had a month to hire! Why is it that you suddenly become valuable when you have no interest in selling yourself anymore? I just want to move on, and the one person that’s holding me back is the one in charge of pushing me forward!

Bottom line: I am so sick of the boredom! The pajamas! The mid-morning TV lineup! Perhaps I’ll be eating my words, but I JUST WANT TO WORK!