Back to School

I spent today in a training class for work, and if there was any doubt that I am done with school and lecturing and endless power-point presentations, today killed them off. I like learning new things, but seven solid hours of verboten manual reading had me crawling out of my skin! I was already getting jittery twenty minutes in, and by hour four, had covered  my notebook with middle-school scrawls and “Mrs. Dicaprio” signatures.

Needless to say, I’m definitely more of an active learner, or I’ve just gained a case of ADD since the last time I was in school.  Any time a meeting creeps past the 45-minute mark, I’m ready to jump through the roof, and the thought of training camp part 2 is giving me hives! Of course, this could simply be an example of how tightly strung I truly am. It’s not like I have a mountain of more important things to do, and I am actually gaining useful skills. But does it have to take so long???

How quickly you forget the structure of class schedules and lecture times when released into the real world. Sure, I don’t have free rein on my schedule now, but for the most part, I’m not chained to my desk or glued to a screen for hours at a time! I think it’s time to go back to yoga or practice the art of circular breathing…perhaps take a trip to a monastery to find my inner peace. But for now I’m going to reward myself for sitting still all day with an ice cream cone after work. Hey, those preschool lessons do come in handy after all!

Play Ball, Put Down Players

Friday was the second softball game of our summer season, and like last year, we’ve lost both games! Obviously we should all stick to our day jobs before heading off to Yankee Stadium for mid-season draft…if that’s what it’s called? …Or even exists?

Yea, I really don’t know anything about softball and, unsurprisingly, am not very good. But what I lack in skills, I make up for in sheer enthusiasm for sport!  So what if I showed up to Game One in jeans and Keds; my team spirit was enough to propel me to first base….where I was promptly tagged out. And who cares if my weak over-hand throw dribbled across the diamond to no one in particular; the intention that it go whipping across home plate was visible in my excitement alone! But apparently that’s no longer enough for this team, as we’ve now moved from a fun afternoon in the park to a cut-throat, competitive game where batting practice is mandatory and I get skipped over in the lineup to “give the team a chance.”

Ouch. Even my perpetual sunniness was no match for that burn! But that’s exactly what someone said to me at the last game, and it took every fiber in my body to not spit my comically large wad of chewing gun in their face! Listen, it would be one thing if every person on the team was hitting slammers into the outfield, or making basket-catches and throwing heat. (Baseball lingo courtesy of mlb.com….) And unlike some people who strike out and still feel like they have the right to choose who bats and who doesn’t, for the sake of the team, I actually made contact with the ball twice. TWICE. Deal with that pal! Pretty soon, I’ll be taking my questionable softball skills and unfettered zeal off the field and to somewhere it will be appreciated!  Where that is exactly is yet to be determined…but wherever it is, it will be appreciated if it’s the last thing I do!

Curtains Up!

After a VERY long hiatus, I’m picking up this blog again, mostly because I want to write about the injustice of our corporate softball team (more on that tomorrow) and the fact that they’re getting rid of the snack closet at work.

But in all honesty (and modesty) I’ve missed my daily musings on the important topics going on in the world, and figured that you, my ten loyal viewers, were as well. So starting tomorrow, I’ll be (ir)regularly posting updates about life at work, my rollicking social life, and everyone’s favorite topic, the current state of my hair and whether or not I should get bangs.

Happy reading!

WHAT?

For the past several days, I’ve been partially deaf in one ear. I finally took it upon myself to go to the doctor on Monday after a week of on-and-off hearing, headaches and vertigo, and it was discovered that I had a double ear infection! Well doesn’t that explain a lot! But part of the treatment to restore my hearing was to clog my ear up once again, with a medicated sponge that effectively sealed my ear off from disease but then also prevented me from hearing any sort of conversation or ambient noise.

Needless to say, things have been a little tricky this week. I haven’t really figured out the appropriate speaking volume when having conversations, and have been vacillating between yelling at people because I can’t hear myself, to speaking barely above a whisper, suddenly concerned I’m talking too loudly! Office gossip is a no go–can’t hear those stage whispers! Ordering from the cafeteria isn’t happening–I got a load of dreaded peppers on my sandwich when I clearly (…or unclearly…) heard him ask if I wanted pesto. I’ve basically resigned myself to sitting at my desk avoiding people–and unable to listen to music, the only sound I hear is the loud ringing in my other ear from over-exerting its hearing capabilities!

Fortunately,  tomorrow I head back to the doctor and will hopefully emerge with both ears back in tiptop shape. Then it will be an afternoon of apologizing to the many people I’ve stared blankly at, or unnecessarily smiled at instead of answering whatever question that may or may not have been directed at me. If only I took my college lip-reading seminar more seriously!

A New Year’s Fall

It’s been a really long and really busy few weeks! For the past month, every day has been a mad scramble to get everything done, balance six things at once, and avoid a stress breakdown in the last stall of the women’s bathroom.  For the most part, I accomplished two out of three…not bad odds, but not too good for my makeup regimen!

The long hours and busy days meant I was pretty much doing nothing with my life outside of the office, which was of course the one thing I wanted to avoid in the new year! January was a bit of a bust, but I’m determined to turn it around and get myself together! It’s going to take a few days to get back on track though, since working 14 hours a day instills a lot of bad habits and normal-life forgetfulness.  For example, I have come to believe it’s normal to drink ten cups of coffee a day and have three square meals of Nature Valley Granola bars with a side of Sunchips! I have forgotten how satisfying it is to leave myself enough time in the morning to blow-dry my hair into the semblance of an actual style! I am re-learning the art of actually having verbal conversations with people outside of frenzied text messages and one-line emails! O, how far I fall!

Needless to say, I’m looking forward to this week as a type of mega-catch up on life until the next wave of work-craziness comes rumbling in. I’m also looking forward to normal sleep. And lettuce. I need to figure out a better way to balance work…but in the meantime I’m just going to talk advantage of the calm and grab a coffee! …Some habits die harder than others!

A Balancing Act

Eeee, this week has been BUSY! All of a sudden, I’m head-over-heels in work, training new people, delegating, making calls…wait. Did I just say I was delegating? Am I actually taking a look at my to-do list, and admitting it may not be possible to do it all by myself?! Am I actually letting go of my control-freak tendencies just a tad and letting others step in?! IT APPEARS SO. A NEW YEARS MIRACLE HAS OCCURRED. ALERT THE PRESS!

Yea, I’m not usually one to do stuff like that. I have always preferred working alone than in a group–high school was four solid years of groaning and bitching about “group work” that in the end always fell to me anyway. It’s not that I don’t work well with other people, it’s just that I prefer to do everything myself! If it’s going to get done right, I might as well just do it, the thought process of a type-A crazy person goes! Of course, over the years since high school and working with slackers who wouldn’t know how to assemble a proper power-point presentation on the periodic table if it hit them in the face, the quality and work ethic of the people I’m paired with now has risen exponentially. Still, I like things done the way I like them done! It’s deep-seeded and hereditary. My mother is exactly the same way and it’s ruining both of us!
The number of church dinners she has single-handedly planned is something I both look forward to and dread for myself!

But I’m slowly learning to let go, and this week in particular have gotten into the hang of saying, “You know what, YOU DO IT.” It’s been surprisingly refreshing! Plus, I feel more focused and organized when all is said and done. Next step is work-team t-shirts and secret handshakes to celebrate this working bond!

Victory At Last!

Happy New Year! After a week of holiday festivities, working on and off, shuttling between the city and New Jersey, then the city and the Catskills, plodding through a few days of doing nothing, and then a few of having too much to do, the new year is officially in full swing! And what better way to kick it off than with a crown perched atop my head, a sparkling diadem bearing a win in the cube decorating contest!!!

Yes, victory was mine at last! My stunning display of office regalia was finally recognized in the over-the-top spectacle I had been dreaming about! A parade was thrown, trumpets were sounded…well, it didn’t exactly happen that way. In fact, it almost didn’t happen at all! Unlike last year, where the contest was a heated and contested battle among colleagues, this year, only three people participated! I guess it’s easy to shine when you’re literally the only diamond in the rough! I begged my cube mate to decorate, not for the sake of competition, but to make it seem like I wasn’t the only person with enough time on their hands to participate! In the end, I was happy with how my cube turned out, and while I wasn’t lauded at the Christmas party like I had hoped (and I still haven’t received MY PRIZE), the boss sent out an email, officially carving my name in the stones of office history.

Yes, this probably means a little more to me than it should. But I am a participator! I love these kitschy little office things…plus, it was a perfect opportunity to display my crafty spirit, and show all my colleagues what a vibrant social life I have…

The Greatest Gift

It’s that time of year again… CHRISTMAS CUBE DECORATING TIME.

I AM EXCITED.

This will be year two of the now infamous cube decorating contest, and everyone is bringing their A-game. After last year’s smashing success of my “Peppermint Pavilion,” where I won awards and acclaim for my artistry and creativity…O WAIT. I DIDN’T WIN ANYTHING. I WAS NEITHER AWARDED NOR ACCLAIMED. I put a lot of effort into that masterpiece, and spent an entire week wearing the same red-and-white striped blouse because they kept moving the judging time! And then to have my glory ripped away from me like a tattered shred of peppermint-printed paper…it still stings!

If you couldn’t already tell, I’m a pretty competitive person, and have been looking at last year’s experience with a critical eye. I think my over-zealous nature was a real hindrance last year, because by the time I was done, people were just starting! So this year, I’m holding my cards close to the chest! I’ve been laboring away at cranking out my decorative elements in the darkness of the night and will start constructing when curiosity is at its peak! I’m also adding lights, because that was apparently the only criteria that upstaged STREAMERS TWISTED FROM THE CEILING IN A VISUALLY PLEASING WAY.

Needless to say, IT’S ON. And to the people who stole the “Most Traditional Christmas” title away from me….YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. And actually, one of them doesn’t even work here anymore, so that’s one less obstacle towards redemption!

Snack Stealers

One of the wonderful things about working at this job is free snacks. In our old building, there was a snack closet regularly fortified with granola bars, trail mix, chips, and this one very exciting time, Peanut M&M’s. This closet used to be situated right outside someone’s desk, so while it was lovely to get a free snack, I always thought this person probably thought everyone that worked there was a big giant pig, since typically in the span of a week, forty-five people would manage to demolish an entire case of granola bars and a pallet of pretzels.

But now that we’re in our new office, the snack closet has been moved into the kitchen. This has eliminated the sting of judgement from coworkers after you reach for that third bag of gummy snacks in an hour, but it has also created the problem of people stealing our loot! Sure, our floor may be full of snackers, but the rest of the building has caught on to our treasure trove of treats and have allegedly been frequenting the kitchen and taking entire boxes of Nutri-Grain bars and pints of milk from the fridge! But beware, little thieves: WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE!

…Actually we don’t, which is why in the past two weeks, cabinet locks have been installed, a sign posted, and most guilt-inducing, a security camera. Isn’t corporate America fun?? The snatchers may be gone, but the judgement is back: now the security guards will know what I have for dinner at least three times a week…veggie chips and cashews make a surprisingly filling meal!

Back Into It

Phew, what a week so far! It’s been a bit stormy in New York the last few days, but thankfully I escaped relatively unscathed. I hadn’t done too much to prepare for the storm, and unlike my neighbors, did not purchase thirty pounds of meat and a dozen loaves of bread to sustain myself. Instead, I made pie, went to the library, and downloaded the new Taylor Swift album. Could I have been any more ready?!

However, my preparations were short-lived, because I had to trek into work on Monday anyway! But just a few hours later we were all sent home, so I  high-tailed it back to the comfort of my toasty abode, excited for the free afternoon! But in a little less than two hours, I had cleaned my kitchen, color-coded my earring box, organized my coat closet, polished off some apple crisp and finished my library book. I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO HANDLE FREE TIME.

Unsurprisingly, when we were called in on Tuesday to cover the storm, I was excited! It’s not like I’m an advocate for disaster, but I love “being in the trenches” with the people I work with. It’s always amazing to see how quickly people can get things done with a looming deadline and copious amounts of free coffee! All the running around and frantic organizing,  with scripts flying and phones ringing reminds me of what I love about journalism. Plus, the congenial patting of backs at the end of the night is always nice!

This particular story came right after another huge project I was working on, so it’s basically been a continuous three weeks of controlled chaos, which is apparently my preferred work environment! Between travelling, some writing opportunities and the growing distance between me and the weeds of boredom, this whole month has ended up being like a giant reset button for my work psyche! …The Taylor Swift CD has also definitely helped.  (I cannot tell a lie!)